The Sweetest Letter in Yesterday’s Inbox

As many of you know, I stay pretty busy between research, education and writing sex columns (for Velocity, Time Out Chicago, Men’s Health, Cheeky Chicago and Psychology Today) and my book. Sometimes even I look around and wonder how it all works out, but it does. And you want to know how? Because every now and then someone smart, articulate and passionate comes along who writes me a very wonderful note that reminds me how important it is for us all to keep learning, and talking openly, about sex. Here is my favorite note from this week from a young woman who most undoubtedly must be a star at her university:


Hi Dr. Debby,

I just found your blog (and twitter, and multiple reviews by you), and I saw on one of your posts that you said we could always drop you a line to say hello.  So, I thought I would do that.

I just wanted to say that I love how encouraging you are about sex and sexuality.  I’m 21, in my senior year of undergrad (at a conservative school in the south), and from a very conservative (and Christian) background.  Within the past two years, I’ve recently starting asking questions and really exploring my sexuality.  I was never given these opportunities as a teen, nor was I ever educated about sex (basic sex ed in school, abstinence from my family).  So, it is extremely encouraging to me to find people like you, who support knowledge about sexuality.  I just wanted to thank you for being a positive voice in the din of information about sexuality.  It helps me remember that people like you actually exist (like I said, really, really conservative background).  Because of everything I’ve experienced and my strong interest in sexuality, I’m going to pursue my masters in Women’s and Gender Studies, with a concentration in sexuality.

So, thank you.  You’re an inspiration.

[Ed. note: name withheld for privacy reasons]


Isn’t that the sweetest letter? She is the one to be thanked! Good for her for asking questions, seeking out knowledge and getting an education that interests her. She’s quite the inspiration herself.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at