Off-Topic: New App Battles “There’s An App for That!”

I can’t take it anymore, people. I keep seeing “there’s an app for that” and I am SO. OVER. IT. Please stop. It jumped the shark a really, really long time ago. Here’s what I think:

I propose that someone please make an app for “there’s an app for that.” Download the app to your iPhone or wherever else you can, even if that includes your mouth. If you try to text that phrase, the app will help make your iPhone correct you. It will delete it. Or replace it with something like “I am lame” or “I am not creative” or “Can’t think of what to say next”. If you try to Tweet the phrase “There’s an app for that”, your Tweet will self-destruct. Bam. Gone. Because no one needs to hear that phrase ever again. Seriously.

And if you try to say it out loud? This magical, mysterious app will make a big whooshing sound and the universe will suck it into a black hole, undetectable even by the fancy new Hubble’s modifications. Gone forever.

So next time someone says that they wish they could make a restaurant reservation while walking down the street on the phone, please don’t say “there’s an app for that.” Instead, just say “Have you tried the OpenTable app?” Your mom says she likes the iPhone but doesn’t like the pictures? Say “Try CameraBag!” rather than that horrible over-used phrase. Otherwise I will find an even stronger app and it will zap you into the black hole as well.

That’s all for now. Please and thank you very much.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • J

    Can we add “That’s what she said?”

  • J

    Can we add “That’s what she said?”