MSP Valentine’s Day Gift Idea #1: Lingerie or a Sexy Costume


Just because it’s still January doesn’t mean that it’s too early to begin thinking about or planning for Valentine’s Day – unless, of course, you are planning to ignore it in which case I would still love to hear your thoughts on these gift ideas: yay or nay?

Though some feel that lingerie and costumes are overrated as gifts, there’s a reason that they remain on many people’s minds around Valentine’s day: namely, their link to romance, seduction and sexual expression. One of my favorite web sites for lingerie and sexy costumes is, a web site that features a broad range of lingerie/costumes in a wide range of sizes. Their styles flatter diverse figures and they don’t just ”dress” women – men’s costumes are available for sale, too. Check out their Valentine-themed costumes on their web site.

More luxurious (and pricy) lingerie pieces are available through Agent Provocateur; you can view their sultry collection on their web site. And if you’re in need of lingerie-related inspiration, visit the web site of burlesque star Dita von Teese (I would love to see her perform in person one day).

Should you decide to go the lingerie/costume route, keep these tips in mind while shopping:

- Mutual pleasure: only purchase lingerie or a costume as a gift if it would enhance the pleasuarable aspects of sex or seduction for both of you.

- Sizing. Not sure what size your partner wears? Take a (respectful but somewhat sneaky) look through clothes that fit her or him well, or ask! Surprises aren’t necessary for all gifts. Too small and your partner may try the lingerie/costume on, only to feel “too big” (or “too fat”); too big and your partner may worry that you view her or him as larger than they are.

- Play. How might this piece of lingerie, or this costume, enhance your sex play or gifting? Are there other “accessories” or ways that you should set up your home or bedroom to further enhance the play? Or are there certain situations that the costume might best be used in? For example, might you get your partner a sexy referee outfit plus tickets to a sporting event you both would like? Or a sexy French maid costume, along with an offer to draw your partner a bath while you clean the house? Or maybe a Genie costume and an offer to grant one wish that can either be: done in less than a day or that costs less than $50 or $100 (or other amount you find reasonable)? Do you need a whistle for that ref costume, red lipstick to match your red babydoll, or are you planning to practice striptease before turning out as a flapper or construction worker?

Stay tuned for more MSP gift ideas, or read past MSP gift ideas for inspiration.

[Photo by Manish Bansal, via Flickr/Creative Commons.]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at