As if my December suggestion to consider a candy cane dildo wasn’t enough to get you in the holiday spirit, I’m back again with yet another quirky but inspired idea for celebrating the post-holiday winter season. Why not use gingerbread men and women to make your sex life better?
How so, you ask? Try baking gingerbread cookie dough, shaping it on your table, counter or marble slab and then using gingerbread cookie cutters to make gingerbread men or women. Depending on your interests and the amount of space you need to depict your sexual interests, Cooper Gifts may have the right cookie cutters for you. They have small gingerbread cookie cutters, medium sizes, big and giant ones and even cookie cutters that make enormous gingerbread men and women that are almost 2 feet long (and may not fit many standard ovens).
Once you cookie cut your way into making gingerbread men and women of the size you desire, the fun begins. Use icing and candy to dress them â€“ or make undressed versions â€“ in whatever way tickles your fancy.
Want to give your gingerbread man a penis? Break off a small bit from a pretzel or pretzel stick. Want to give your gingerbread woman breasts? Try skittles. For pubic hair, sprinkles will do the trick (to groom your sprinkles into a certain pubic hair style, such as a landing strip, use a tweezer to strategically place your sprinkles). Then, surprise your partner with your treats by showing them to him or her and using one or more of the gingerbread people to do things to the other one. Bonus points if you do this in lingerie. Or naked. Or ask what they would like for you to do to them (or what they would like to do to you).
Or, if you are feeling unusually creative and have a little time on your hands, follow Porn Bread’s recipe for kama sutra inspired gingerbread people. That’s right: gingerbread people in compromising yet titillating sex positions. You can view and cut out the patterns on their web site.
Though playing with your food may seem more silly than sexy, sometimes people need or just plain enjoy taking a more coy approach to their sex. For others, it is downright difficult to tell a partner what they want to do but easier to show them through art, cooking, pictures or storytelling. Perhaps this strategy will be fun and good-sex-making for you.
Remember: warm nights spent indoors, outside of the cold weather, are what you make of them, so make them yummy in your tummy if not in your bed.
[Originally published in my weekly column on Cheeky Chicago.]
Image via this site.