shame

Recent posts

Orgasm During Rape

If rape is underreported, the occurrence of orgasm during rape is especially so. This article (trigger warning for descriptions of sexual violence) discusses the phenomenon, making it clear that the body can respond to sexual touching even when one’s mind is not aroused or engaged. There are plenty of examples of this: people can have orgasms while asleep, and people can become aroused while looking at images that they would not consciously classify as sexy. One of the reasons to point all this out is to remove the shame and stigma from the experience of being bodily aroused or having an orgasm during sexual assault. It is never the victim’s fault, and even if the experience of orgasm during rape is confusing and shameful, hopefully it helps to keep in mind that it is the body responding, which we don’t always have control over. Continue Reading →

It’s not all physical: Better sex and relationships through communication and less shame about sex

Contrary to stereotype about sex-crazed adolescents, this article that describes a study of 4,000 teenagers and young adults suggests that they want more information about aspects of sex that have to do with handling emotions, communicating needs and otherwise being successful at relationships. They also asked for smaller classes, separate by gender (at least some of the time), both of which would seemingly contribute to being able to talk and learn about sex with “less embarrassment”. Stigma and shame around sex have been described by former US Surgeon General Dr. David Satcher as contributing factors to cultures, like in the US, that have unusually high rates of sexually transmissible infections (STI) and unintended pregnancy. Parents who want to learn more about raising sexually healthy teenagers might like this book. Adults who pretty much never got decent education about how to make their relationships work might check out this one. Continue Reading →