Sexual Pleasure

Recent posts

Liking Sex Doesn’t Make You a Slut

That’s right ladies, you read me correctly: You can still be crazy about sex and have a good reputation. I know this may seem like a huge shocker—but after reading Chris Jones’ latest piece in Esquire (titled, Ladies: You’re Not as Good as You Think), I feel so much more enlightened on how to be good in bed—I feel as if I could teach a college course on it. So to share my newfound knowledge on what makes women the ultimate hook-up , let me give you the breakdown on the top five lessons I learned from CJ. Continue Reading →

The Beauty Of Sexual Favors

Ever since graduation (which yes, FINALLY – as of May 7th – I am no longer an undergrad!) I’ve had a lot of time to catch up on one of my favorite guilty pleasures - stocking up and sifting through magazines. So as I am reading through the May 2011 edition of GQ I stumble upon an article that is encouraging couples whose sex lives may be lacking in lust to consider trading sexual favors for random tasks that need to be eliminated off the ‘to-do list’ (think…offering him oral sex if he’ll do the dishes – hence the selected image below). Although this idea of keeping the relationship interesting through sex play such as this is not new by any means – I think openness and creativity are important elements to work into the mix. Not all couples are going to have mind-blowing sex all of the time, and eventually things can become routine – so it’s important to be willing to work with your partner if they’re wanting to try new things. Not only can this concept of using sexual favors be physically satisfying, it can allow you (and your partner) to explore  desires and aspects of your sexuality that normally you may be too bashful to suggest. Continue Reading →

What Causes Women’s Post-Sex Blues?

I recently read an interesting article from NYDailyNews.com discussing a recent study that was conducted in Australia pertaining to feelings of sadness post-sex. The study indicated that out of the 200 women they surveyed – at least one-third of the women felt sadness, anxiety, or irritability after sex. Yet what I found most interesting in the article was the reasons (or causes) for these feelings of sadness; the article listed the following (possible) explanations:

previous sexual abuse which may lead to feelings of guilt or shame,
emotional characteristics which may lead to feelings of sadness. The author of the study (Robert Schweitzer) also stated additional research needs to be done to see if the way women perceive themselves in the bedroom could has any effect on their post-sex feelings. But the one thing that comes to my mind when I think of irritability post-sex is lack of satisfaction in bed. Continue Reading →

How to Have Sex: Instructions For…

“How to Fuck” by Mellissa McEwan may be the best instructions I’ve ever read for having sex. Generic, sure, but that’s part of what’s so amazing about them. This set of instructions leaves pleasure up to whoever is involved and assumes that you want to protect yourselves. There are no assumptions of what normal is and nor do I think the author even cares. Sex is fun and should be had for fun. Continue Reading →

Why Dominance Is Hot: The Men Speak Out!

As all you avid MSP readers and followers know, I recently wrote about dominance in sexual encounters. I got lots of great feedback, but realized that most of the contributors were female. So, I headed back to square one of research, but this time asked for a male perspective. It took the guys a little bit longer to come out of the woodwork and actually talk to me, but once I got them talking, I was amazed with the quality and complexity of their responses. The guys pretty much covered the same bases as the girls, with a few outliers. Continue Reading →

Sex Is Good Because You Can Feel Crazy Things You Never Felt Before

When I teach human sexuality classes, I often ask students to list – on an anonymous survey – their favorite things about being close to or sexual with another person.  Among the long list of kissing, touching, orgasms and expressing love is sometimes a vague description of getting to feel sensations that they’ve never before experienced. Continue Reading →

Sex Is Good Because You Get to See Another Side to your Favorite Person

There are a thousands reasons why sex can be a wonderful source of pleasure. One of them is because it gives you a chance to see a private, special side to another person that few other people in the world may ever get to see. The cynical among you may read “a few” and balk. But whether your lover has been known by one other person, a dozen, a hundred or ten thousand – it’s still a small number in the grand scheme of things of the world. Continue Reading →

The Riddle of Here and Why Curiosity Matters to Sex

This short film is so beautiful and precious (thanks, L, for sending it to me). There is so much potential for love, grace, connection and intimacy in the world. I hope you stop and take notice of it as much as the world takes notice of you. And I hope you get to see how much the world does, in fact, take notice of things that are special about you. Continue Reading →

The Art of Sex and Being an Attentive Lover

Sex is an intimate dance between the physical and emotional realms of experience. Many sex tips and techniques focus on the physicality of sex such as how to last longer during sex, how to orgasm during sex, or how to get or maintain an erection during sex. Although orgasms, erections and learning to last longer are influenced by both mind and body, we often focus on the body to the exclusion of the mind and the emotions. In fact, being a good lover is about more than coming at the right time or having a hard enough erect penis. Continue Reading →