Recent posts

Why Isn’t Anyone Worried About Bisexuals Getting Married?

After the Supreme Court’s ruling on DOMA and Prop 8, moving the U.S. closer to large-scale legal acceptance of gay marriage, I have to wonder: why hasn’t there been much fuss over bisexuals getting married? I wonder this, of course, with my tongue thoroughly lodged in my cheek, and because it exposes some of the hypocrisies and contradictions in the arguments against gay marriage. I’m not sure if the anti-gay-marriage folks realize this, but bisexual people have been getting married for a while now – they just happen to be marrying people of the opposite gender/sex assignment. And yet, bi folks have the potential to have “swung the other way” and ended up in a union with someone of the same sex/gender assignment (assuming that they’re into monogamy in the first place). In a sense, it’s almost as though non-heterosexual people have already been getting married… Continue Reading →

What If We Took Every Marriage Proposal Seriously?

When I made Caesar salad from scratch, my dinner guest proposed to me on the spot. Fortunately, we already happened to be married, so we didn’t really have to do anything about that proposal. But what if I had someone else over for dinner, and the same thing happened? What if it happened again and again, because my Caesar salad recipe is just that good? Obviously it’d be ludicrous to suggest that I should take every marriage proposal seriously, since I’m already married. Continue Reading →

Mandatory Name Changes For Married Women?

According to a new survey of American opinions, 70% of the respondents thought that women should take their husbands’ last names. And 50% thought that this should be a legal requirement! According to the study’s lead author, Laura Hamilton, this figure was surprising because so many Americans don’t seem to want the government interfering in their home lives: “Americans don’t want much government intervention in family life, so for 50 percent of Americans to feel this way was interesting.” Click the link above for more information on and interpretation of this study. How do you feel about making the name change mandatory? Continue Reading →

Gender And The Marriage Name-Change

What happens when a man adopts his wife’s last name upon marriage? A boatload of trouble, apparently. A Florida man legally changed his name in order to take his wife’s last name, doing all the necessary paperwork to get a new passport, Social Security card, and so on. However, after receiving a new driver’s license, the Florida DMV accused him of fraud. His license was suspended, and only just now was the suspension lifted. Continue Reading →

What Changes After Marriage?

Many people have asked me recently: what’s changed since you’ve gotten married? My answer is: fortunately, very little. I dislike surprises. Spontaneity is not my middle name. So it’s to be expected that I would not want things to suddenly and drastically change simply because there’s been a ceremony and a shift of legal status. Continue Reading →

Wife-Beating Here And There

In a stunning reminder that misogyny is everywhere, televangelist Pat Robertson advises a Christian man to convert to Islam so that he can beat his disobedient wife. Which is not so far removed from an Egyptian cleric’s advice to husbands to beat their wives to keep them obedient. It would be nice if leaders (both religious and secular) everywhere spoke out against domestic abuse rather than condoning it. Or maybe they should consult us sex educators/researchers first so we can confirm for them that relationships based on abuse and fear are neither healthy nor desirable. Follow us on Twitter @mysexprofessor. Continue Reading →

Getting Married As A Sex Blogger

Working as a blogger here at has led me to take a new perspective on some aspects of getting married (which is happening this August, but I don’t think I’ve mentioned it yet for various reasons). Since I’ve been having such an interesting time of things, I thought I’d share some of my experiences here. 1. Writing for a sex blog means there’s no need for sex toys at the bridal show. Yes, we know it’s a classic rom-com and sitcom trope to have the gifts get mixed up so it looks like someone’s grandma is giving someone a giant dildo. Continue Reading →

Love (And Marry?) Yourself First

Growing up, my mom always told me that I couldn’t expect someone to love me until I truly loved myself. I’m sure lots of other people heard similar things from their parents. If you heard that, and were anything like me, you probably nodded and went “Yeah, yeah, sure thing” and didn’t really pay it a lot of attention. However, I’ve found that, at least for me, it really is true that you need to love yourself first. A friend of mine even posed the statement as a question, and asked if me if I would be friends with myself if I met myself on the street. Continue Reading →

Obama Endorsed Gay Marriage…So What?

This afternoon I received a phone call from my father in which he asked me, his voice oozing excitement, if I had heard what the president said. “Yeah, Obama endorsed gay marriage, right?” Apparently my nonchalance was apparent, as my dad wasn’t satisfied. “Well, what do you think?” Of course he asked me not only as his daughter, but as his queer, activist, blogging daughter, so I knew I had to give him a good answer. Continue Reading →