Recent posts

Forgiveness And Communication

Holly’s recent post on talking to your partner about sex got me thinking. It is, as she says, incredibly important to make concrete suggestions about what you’d like to try in bed, give specific feedback, and be encouraging and understanding when it takes a while for your comments to sink in and have an impact on your partner’s behavior. Another significant factor in communicating with your partner about things you’d like to try, however, is forgiveness. Dr. Debby has posted about forgiveness as a sex superpower, but forgiveness has an additional role to play specifically in the realm of communication. Let’s say you and your partner want to try something new… Continue Reading →

Does Forgetting Make for Better Sex?

Last week I wrote about how sex might be different if people could forgive. This week, I’d like to imagine how sex could be different if only we could forget. However, I don’t mean “forget” in the traditional “forgive and forget” kind of way. Rather, I wonder how sex would change if we could approach it with a clean slate more of the time and with less anxiety about the past or present. I have to assume that we would be open to a far wider range of possibilities if only if we didn’t approach sex feeling as though we “know” with certainty how we liked to be touched or how a particular type of touch is what brings us to orgasm. Continue Reading →

The Sex Superpower of Forgiveness

A fun game to play with others while waiting for a bus, riding a train or sitting around after dinner is the superpower game – as in, if you could have one superpower, what would it be? Often, people say they’d like to fly, to have x-ray vision or to be invisible. These are all well and good for people who want to be super at fighting crime, but what do they do for sex and love aside from having sex in mid-air (flying), spoiling the surprise (x-ray vision) or being a voyeur in someone else’s bedroom (invisibility). This got me thinking about what superpowers might make for better sex – and what we can learn from them. Continue Reading →