Recent posts

How to last longer during sex: Do cock rings work?

Having worked in the field of sexuality research and education for more than 10 years, an enormous number of men have asked me questions about how to last longer during sexual intercourse (usually, vaginal intercourse). Some of these men find it difficult to last more than 30 seconds or a minute or two no matter what they try and their situation would likely fit the description of what some call “premature ejaculation” or “rapid ejaculation”. Other times, men may believe that they aren’t lasting long enough during sex when, in fact, they are lasting a fair amount of time – say, 10 or 15 minutes during intercourse – before they ejaculate or orgasm (ejaculation and orgasm are not one in the same, by the way, though usually they coincide, so for the sake of this post we’ll treat them as occurring at the same time). Stop-start and squeeze techniques (first practiced during masturbation, then sometimes carried over into partnered sex) are commonly recommended to men who wish to learn to delay their ejaculation (last longer during sex). Some research in recent years suggest that, for some men, there may be an inherited/genetic propensity toward premature ejaculation. Continue Reading →

MSP Q&A: Why can’t I stay hard during sex? What causes erection problems?

Recently on Yahoo Questions, a 16 year old boy wrote in to ask why he was having erection problems (specifically, why he was having trouble staying hard, once he already had an erection) during sex. It’s unfortunate, but some people were writing in to tell him to take Viagra or that he had an STD. This was my response:

Even though men don’t always talk openly about erection problems, it is actually very common among men of all ages (yes, even 16 year olds) to have occasional erection problems. Unfortunately, sometimes when a guy has one or two erection problems, he starts to get nervous and wonder if – thanks to all the Viagra/Cialis/Levitra ads – he has “erectile dysfunction.” The reality is that most of the time, when young men in their teens, 20s and 30s, the cause is usually psychological rather than physical. That doesn’t mean that you’re crazy; rather it may mean that you are stressing yourself out trying to be a good, pleasing partner; that you are worried or anxious that you’ll be able to get or keep an erection; or it may mean that you’re having sex just because you have the opportunity but not because you’re really “into” your partner. Continue Reading →