Recent posts

Thoughts On “Carrot Dating”

Thanks to an MIT alumnus, there now exists an app called “Carrot Dating,” which allows allows people to offer potential dates a gift for going on a date with them. The problem, of course, is where the gift crosses the line into, say, a bribe or a payment. The app’s creator explains the idea like this: “Giving is the greatest ‘icebreaker,’ and anyone can date the man or woman of their dreams by simply dangling the right ‘carrot.’” The idea is apparently more about having a way to break the ice, and then seeing if you connect, than actually trying to pay someone to go on a date with you. As someone with a background in cultural anthropology, I can agree that giving occupies an important role in many cultures. A glimpse at my field’s classics will confirm this. Continue Reading →

I’m Just Not That Into You: Reasons For Turning Down A Second Date

Is there a bad reason to not go out on a second date? Blogger Anna Davies at Refinery 29 made me wonder if there are ridiculous reasons out there. In her piece, ten different readers listed a reason why they had decided that one date was enough (or in some cases, more than enough). I know from personal experience that sometimes you’re just not meant to be with a person – maybe on that first date you just don’t click romantically or after one date you are rather irritated and just can’t imagine spending one more cup of coffee with that person (sorry, Ron). One person in the article simply says, “he said he hated yoga.” Continue Reading →

Is Social Media Sabotaging Your Love Life?

OK, I get that the headline is a bit extreme. And I’m sure the media masterminds who created Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr—etc!—never had any intention of making connecting more complex. But now that our daily practices are so immersed in this constant cycle of sharing, at what point do we stop and say enough is enough? To give you a bit of context, I recently came across this post titled ‘10 Ways Technology Is Ruining Your Love Life.’ And after clicking through the numerous articles highlighted in that post, it made me wonder: Are we cheapening our experiences (with our partner) if we’re constantly sharing these intimate moments with all of our “friends?” Don’t get me wrong, I love that I am able to use social platforms to keep in touch with friends, family, colleagues, and past acquaintances. Continue Reading →

The “F*ck Yes” Attitude To Courtship

In the realm of dating and courtship advice, there’s tons of material out there on how to convince someone they want to be with you. However, as Mark Manson advocates in his blog post Fuck Yes Or No, maybe you should only pursue people who respond to you with enthusiasm (the titular “fuck yes”). As he puts it: Why would you ever be excited to be with someone who is not excited to be with you? If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’ll be happy to be with you later? Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you? Continue Reading →

‘Baby, I’m Your Natural Selection’- New Scientist Magazine’s Dating Website

There’s something about geek romance that just delights me. Perhaps it’s the idea that people historically undervalued as dating partners finding connection, or, the joy that someone’s found a partner that totally ‘gets’ them. Either way, I love a good n’ nerdy how-we-met story. Case in point: a friend of mine once told me about the moment he realized he’d found ‘the one’ was when, during a walk on the beach with a new girlfriend, she picked up a rock and said, ‘This looks like a phaser!’ In a previous post, I described how I overheard the best nerdy pick-up line in the bar at the Star Trek Experience. Continue Reading →

The Pressure On Women To Dumb Down For Dating

It would seem that intelligence should be highly valued in prospective partners, but many women’s dating experiences contradict this. One blogger’s ruminations on being asked to throw a Scrabble game so her friend’s new man could have an ego boost questioned this phenomenon. She asks: “Do we truly have to dumb down to catch and keep a man?” The answer, of course, should be no. Continue Reading →

GameCrush: Online Playdates For Lonely Gamers

A look at the demographics of the website GameCrush reveals that there is still a large gender disparity in gaming. Users of the site can pay to play games via webcam with “playdates,” most of whom are female, in games ranging from board games to first-person shooters. This report emphasizes the interactive nature of the site, stating that paying to game with a hot girl is not unlike buying her a drink at a bar–simply a way to introduce oneself and ask for her company for a little while. Sex-chatting and raunchiness are apparently discouraged and could get one booted from the site. Continue Reading →

Reasons To Date A Writer (Or Not)

Writers are smart and creative, which is sexy, right? This post listing 20 reasons to date a writer would certainly have us think so. For instance: “Writers enjoy their solitude. Unless you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you probably want at least some time to yourself and time to spend with your friends and family. Writers want time to be alone to write and think which means that you’ll get your own much-needed space as well.” Continue Reading →

MSP Book Review: Your Big Fat Boyfriend by Jenna Bergen

Not long ago I was asked by journalist Jenna Bergen to chime in on a sex-related magazine article she was writing. In our email exchange, I noticed that her email signature line indicated that she was the author of “Your Big Fat Boyfriend: How to Stay Thin When Dating a Diet Disaster” – a title that sent me to her web site to learn more. Given the countless conversations that friends and I have had on this very topic (namely, maintaining a healthy balance of eating/exercise when dating someone with radically different eating/exercise behaviors), to say that I was curious to read Jenna’s book would be an understatement. It’s important to note upfront that gaining weight is not necessarily a bad thing – some women (and men) long to gain weight. Others may not plan on gaining weight but are happy in their bodies regardless of their pants size. Continue Reading →