Recent posts

Where Do Desires Come From?

Why do we find certain things sexy, and other things un-sexy? How much of our desires are governed by genes, or culture, or individual quirks? From being turned on by “normal” things like a glimpse of an attractive body to the less mainstream attractions like fetish wear and pain, there are a variety of factors influencing what people find desirable. Be warned, this is a somewhat rambling post, representing my attempt to get a hold on what is perhaps one of the trickiest aspects of sexuality: where desires come from. Some desires are likely connected to our evolution and our genes, such as the desire for traits that are adaptive to survival. Continue Reading →

What is it about being dominated that gets us so hot?

Recently, I was discussing sex with a friend. Obviously. What else is there to talk about? Anyway, the subject of domination came into conversation. While we were describing various fantasy situations involving dominant/passive roles, she posed this question to me- why is it that dominance is such a common theme in our fantasies? Continue Reading →

How to Orgasm During Sex: Building Sexual Arousal

Women who are interested in learning to orgasm, or to enhance their current experience of orgasm, may find it helpful to learn about the role of arousal. Orgasm doesn’t exist in a vacuum, of course; it happens as a result of a build-up of sexual excitement and arousal. The more things heat up, the better chance you’ve got. Continue Reading →

MSP Sex Q&A: Where can I find porn for couples or women?

Question: I’m one of those rare women who LIKES PORN! Now, uh, where can I find some (and please don’t say those sleazy adult bookstores crawling with men) that I can watch with my husband, or by myself when he’s traveling for work? Answer: Although few women have been raised with the sense that it’s okay for women to like porn, the fact is that some do. Some women like watching porn alone, such as to up their arousal or to ease orgasm during masturbation, and other women enjoy watching porn with a partner. One site,, is sort of a clearinghouse of woman-oriented porn sites and resources. Continue Reading →

Must#4 for Great Sex: Go to bed early.

Regular MSP readers have likely read by Must#1 for Great Sex as well as Must#2 and Must#3. Now on to Must#4: Go to bed early. Please, by all means, go to bed when you’re still ready to rock! At least if you want to have sex, that is. Too often, we get into routines in which we head to bed only when we are dripping with exhaustion. Continue Reading →