Some Women Like Penises

 

The recent Weiner-sending-weiner-photos Twitter “scandal” has inspired a number of articles about how some men send photos of their penis to others, and not always to real life partners but perhaps hoped-for partners, or at least people with whom they flirt. A similar slew of penis photo articles were published following news that Brett Favre and Kanye West had taken and shared photos of their genitals.

Among these articles is sometimes a sense that women don’t want to receive men’s penis photos in the first place. In many cases, this is true – too often, men send unwelcome photos of their genitals to people who don’t really want them or may even find the photos “gross”. As a sex columnist, I’ve personally received more than my share of penis photos from male readers who, I believe, pretend to have a sex question as an excuse to send me their naked chest and/or penis photos (to be fair, most people who write to me with their sex questions are sincere with their questions; however, the ones that include naked chest and/or penis photos are written in an entirely different manner).

But there are also instances in which people – including many women – welcome penis and/or naked chest photos sent from men. True, sometimes people “welcome” these photos just because it’s funny to them. And sometimes it’s a power trip for people to feel that they can ask for someone to do something as revealing or vulnerable as taking a naked photo and sending it to them. There are even plenty of situations in which people ask for naked/penis photos so that they can use them for future blackmail (scary but true).

Then there are instances in which women and men who are into men actually like receiving photos of men’s genitals. It might even turn the person who’s receiving the photos on. Maybe they even masturbate to the photos or sneak a peek when they’re feeling randy. I know that goes against the grain of how some people would like to portray women, but what’s so great about portraying women as sexless beings who aren’t into nudity or sex under any circumstances? The bigger issue to me in the sharing of naked and/or genital photos isn’t whether someone does it at all but whether it’s a consensual act and, at a personal level for those involved (and not for me or others to judge), whether it’s okay within the boundaries of that person’s relationship, if they’re in one at the time. Some people have open relationships and a little online photo sharing isn’t that big of a deal. Others would equate online naked photo sharing with cheating.

All of this is to say…. I appreciated the moments in Katy Perry’s Last Friday Night video (above) in which her character sneaks peeks and feels of a guy’s genitals – or at least I appreciate the sense that a woman can be interested, curious about and “into” men’s genitals. The fact that the guy is totally passed out and so his consent is out the window is disappointing, of course – and, let’s face it, if gender roles were switched and there was a half naked woman on the bed who was passed out and being fondled by a man, few people would find humor in it. But the cheeky, comical, campy way the entire video is produced (plus cameos by Debbie Gibson, Hanson, Corey Feldman and Kenny G) gives different vibes – and in this context, a young woman’s interest in a young man’s penis is kind of cute – too bad it couldn’t have been portrayed as awake, consensual peeking and plating. Her interest, however, is a reminder that many women love men’s genitals – but perhaps not every man’s genitals, and perhaps not all the time, so ask before you hit send.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • A Guest

    I don’t pay much attention to online articles / debate where women get really negative about men’s dicks or men’s desire for sex.  It all reminds me of the Salem Witch Trials or Carrie’s mother from the version with Sissy Spacek.  I particularly am revolted when some porn star or stripper is the recipient of such photos and then when the guy gets busted, she acts like the victim and called for the guy to resign because HE just isn’t a decent person.  Well what the hell is SHE?  She is just going to end up writing a book about the whole thing and selling her story for a made for TV movie.

    I do believe that men should be less trigger happy on the cock shots.  I many ways, I feel that men try to force their level of sexuality on woman and it ends up turning some women into anti-man / anti-sex.

    But at the same time, I see it all over the blogosphere as well as porn that a lot of women love dick.  When I was on Livejournal, I would run into more than a few dick loving women and if I wrote them asking them what it was specifically that they liked about dick, they would practically write a poetic essay on it.  Part of it would include the bigger picture of it being attached to the man that they loved and how it felt good to give their man pleasure through their dick.  Part of it would be this more sexually aggressive wrestling with the beast attitude.  Part of it would be the smell, the taste of cum, how powerful it looked, how insistant it was.

    Even when you look at porn.  Yeah, there is this stereotype that the women in porn are pure victims who were forced into doing it (because working a normal retail job in America is just too cruel and inhumane that porn is the only good option).  But when you REALLY watch for subtle facial expressions and eye contact in those films, a lot of those women REALLY love their jobs.  They love making the cock happy while looking at it, giving it a kiss, etc.  etc.  etc.  And I know a lot of women from the blogosphere who confess to watching the vulgarest of porn for the purposes of getting off.

    And there are plenty of men AND women posting their bodies on sites like Newbie Nudes and XPeeps.

    So yes, it seems a fair share of men these days only represent themselves as their hard dick. And it would be better if men toned that down a lot.  Men just need to figure out the bettter time and place for dick revelations.  But that doesn’t mean that women NEVER want to see it.