Recently on Yahoo Questions, a 16 year old boy wrote in to ask why he was having erection problems (specifically, why he was having trouble staying hard, once he already had an erection) during sex. It’s unfortunate, but some people were writing in to tell him to take Viagra or that he had an STD. This was my response:
Even though men don’t always talk openly about erection problems, it is actually very common among men of all ages (yes, even 16 year olds) to have occasional erection problems. Unfortunately, sometimes when a guy has one or two erection problems, he starts to get nervous and wonder if – thanks to all the Viagra/Cialis/Levitra ads – he has “erectile dysfunction.”
The reality is that most of the time, when young men in their teens, 20s and 30s, the cause is usually psychological rather than physical. That doesn’t mean that you’re crazy; rather it may mean that you are stressing yourself out trying to be a good, pleasing partner; that you are worried or anxious that you’ll be able to get or keep an erection; or it may mean that you’re having sex just because you have the opportunity but not because you’re really “into” your partner.
Having taught human sexuality classes to college students for years, one book that some of my students have found helpful is called “The Sexual Male: Problems and Solutions.” Another – and my personal favorite – is called “The New Male Sexuality” and it is by Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld. Your local commnity library might have one or both of these. If not, you can order it online or call a local bookstore and ask them to order one of them, if they’re not already in stock (Borders and Barnes and Noble often have one or both in stock).
In very rare cases, young men who have erection problems may have other health problems such as diabetes, so if you have questions, please do check in with your healthcare provider. However, in the vast majority of cases, the cause is likely stress or anxiety and not a medical problem. Try to relax, tale your time, focus on pleasure and enjoyment, and choose to have sex only when you are ready to have it and not when you’re not, or when you’re overly worried about getting a partner pregnant, getting an STI, or anything else that troubles you.
Also, sexually transmissible infections (STIs – also called STDs) do not cause erection problems. However, if you have had sex with one or more people whether or not you have used condoms – it is recommended that you get checked for STIs. That’s just part of being a sexually responsible person.
Check out Dr. Herbenick’s book, Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure & Satisfaction, and follow us on Twitter @mysexprofessor
Related MSP Posts:
- How to Last Longer During Sex: Do Cock Rings Work? (Click HERE to read)
- Sex Toys for Men and Couples: The Penis Ring Thrust Counter (Click HERE to read)
- Oral Sex Techniques and Games for Couples: Flavored Body Sugar (Click HERE to read)
- Playing with Men’s Testicles: Fun Sex Games (Click HERE to read)
- How to Perform Oral Sex Without Gagging (Click HERE to read)
- How to Have Sex in the Shower (Comfortably) (Click HERE to read)
- Hummingbird Sex Position (Click HERE to read)
[Read the full Q&A on the Yahoo Questions site.]
