Two Rutgers Students Illegally Tape Another Student Having Sex

In more very sad news, two Rutgers students secretly and thus illegally taped another college student (who was a roommate of one of the students) having sex with his male partner (Read the full ABC News story here). The students then broadcast the secretly taped footage on the Internet. Next, the teenager, 18 year old freshman Tyler Clementi, appears to have committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. He appears to have posted a message saying he was going to do this before he went and did it.

This falls on the heels of several highly publicized instances in which gay teenagers have committed suicide due to bullying. It also falls on the heels of an instance in Michigan in which the assistant attorney general of the state of Michigan, in his off hours, appears to be bullying/targeting an openly gay student body president at the University of Michigan (in fact, CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked the attorney general if indeed he is cyberbullying the college student president and the AG said he is not).

What is wrong with some of these people?

If you know someone who is bullying someone else at your school or workplace, ask them to stop. Report it to a teacher, a guidance counselor, your parents, their parents or anyone else who you think might have the power to stop it or to protect the student.

If someone tells you that they are secretly taping another person having sex, don’t watch it. Report it.

As Dan Savage has been helping to show the world, life usually gets better for most people who have been bullied as a result of their sexual orientation (it also usually gets better for people who have bullied for being nerds, geeks, or the way they look or whatever else kids pick on). But you have to be around to live it and you have to put up with a lot of crazy stuff to get to all the awesome stuff sometimes. And it really does get better.

If you’re a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender kid or young adult and you’re feeling sad, depressed, or you need help, contact The Trevor Project.

And if you yourself are bullying anyone for any reason whatsoever, please stop it.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at

  • Sarah Jio

    So incredibly sad!

  • Mens Sex Toys

    I read this story today on the BBC. It really is terrible. I can’t believe how backward some people are, after all these decades of fighting for equality kids are STILL being bullied for something as minuscule as sexual identity!

    I was bullied as a teen for being different. Not for my sexuality, but for my style (I was a rocker from an early age). And I’ve often thought that kids just need someone there to tell them how to fight back.

    I found defense in showing that their opinion meant nothing, and by some quick retorts. If you submit and make light of it, you steal their power. The only reason they continue is because it has an effect on you, they feel weak as individuals and they crave power over others.
    Be proud of your difference, be proud of what makes you better than them, and then rub their face in it. You expose them as the pathetic scum they are.

    Of course we’re all different. But if I had been in his shoes, I would have told any person who asked that they were just jealous because they weren’t getting any. I would have made those two perpetrators the victims by exposing their “fetish” for spying on others. If their lives are so pathetic they need to get their kicks by secretly watching others, I’d have a LOT LESS to be embarrassed about.

    My thoughts are with the family and friends of this poor guy. They must be wondering what they could have done to prevent this.

    And I truly hope those two feel truly ashamed, and I mean ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED. They should be publicly humiliated for their actions.

    Blessed Be Tyler x

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