Texting During Sex – Is It OK?

I recently came across this old (by internet standards) information graph on Mashable.com, which suggests that 10% of the 25 and under crowd feel that it’s acceptable to text during sex.  As suggested by the author, I started off being a little worried about the future of our civilization, but was relieved when I followed the rabbit hole back to the original article, where the report’s author clarified: these young folks felt it was acceptable to interrupt sex to respond to a text.

While this is still a somewhat questionable act, it ruined my visions of the simple logistics involved in texting during sex.I thought of  one partner bent over pecking away at a keyboard while the other is poking from behind; one partner riding no-handed so she can update her Twitter; one partner facesitting, the other on Facebook.  Interesting ideas for erotica or porn, but not very practical in real life.

What I really don’t understand is why people allow the outside world to interrupt their sex.  One of my favorite things about sex is how it can shut out all other distractions for the duration of the act.  The focus is on you, your partner(s), the sensations of sex, and how your bodies fit together.  It is one of the few times in my life where I can focus on one thing.  Even my fancy new phone can’t drag me away from that.

What do you think?  Is there any text worth stopping sex for?

Learn about MSP posts as they happen by following us on Twitter@mysexprofessor. You can also follow Craig VanKempen, the author of this post, @craigvk.

Image by taka_aka_T from Flickr Creative Commons.

About Craig VanKempen

Craig VanKempen

Craig VanKempen, LLMSW/MPH, is a sex educator and therapist practicing in the Detroit/Ann Arbor area. His professional interests include HIV, polyamory, compulsive sexual behavior, religion and sexuality, and GLBT issues.

  • anonymoose

    I like the photo.

    So … a person is sitting on the face of the person who is on Facebook. Now that IS impressive. HE HE.

    Well, from what I have read on a few different sex help sites, a ton of women (and some guys) don’t really like sex at all. They do it for their mate and they even let them know it. So, I could see a woman saying, “You can screw me 3 times a week, but I get to be on Twitter while you are doing it.”

    It would never be acceptable to me, but maybe it could be turned into some role playing thing.

  • http://ReclaimYourSexuality.com DrCastellanos

    I guess maybe if you’re paying for sex, it would be ok – but you would only be cheating yourself. All other circumstances, NO. Scary that some people would think it’s ok.

  • CK

    Heh, as a sex game sometimes my partner will have me call a friend (who has agreed to be a part of this game) and I’ll attempt to have a normal conversation with her, while he does his best to distract me. I think in that context, where it’s a game and all the parties are consenting (including the textee/callee), it’s totally alright.

    I don’t like defining different kinds of sex as good/bad, so I can’t pass judgement on the phenomenon of texting during sex outside of a game… I suppose my thoughts on the topic is that I feel sex ought to be focused, in the moment, and shared intimacy. If somebody is still able to have pleasure and intimacy while on twitter, who am I to judge their ability to multitask?

  • CMR

    Really can’t imagine wanting to interrupt sex for texting…

  • Kate McCombs

    I agree with CK. It’s appropriate if it’s a sex game, otherwise, it demonstrates pretty questionable etiquette.