When it comes to heterosexual sex, it’s pretty easy to know whether or not you are having sex (ok, yes I realize this is a controversial issue, but when I talk about heterosexual sex, I’m talking about intercourse specifically). You either are, or you aren’t.
However, when talking queer sex, especially between female-bodied individuals, it’s often hard to know what counts as sex and what’s just “messing around”. It’s pretty common, in fact, for the two parties involved to have very different opinions on what actually happened. Obviously this is why communication before, during, and after sex is key, but in case you’re not a talker, Autostraddle provides a fairly fool-proof method for determining whether or not you just did the nasty. Check it out!