Why Isn’t Anyone Worried About Bisexuals Getting Married?

After the Supreme Court’s ruling on DOMA and Prop 8, moving the U.S. closer to large-scale legal acceptance of gay marriage, I have to wonder: why hasn’t there been much fuss over bisexuals getting married? I wonder this, of course, with my tongue thoroughly lodged in my cheek, and because it exposes some of the hypocrisies and contradictions in the arguments against gay marriage.

I’m not sure if the anti-gay-marriage folks realize this, but bisexual people have been getting married for a while now – they just happen to be marrying people of the opposite gender/sex assignment. And yet, bi folks have the potential to have “swung the other way” and ended up in a union with someone of the same sex/gender assignment (assuming that they’re into monogamy in the first place).

In a sense, it’s almost as though non-heterosexual people have already been getting married… but where’s the outcry? The demonization? The political and moral outrage? I suspect this is another instance of bisexuality being treated as though it’s invisible, since it tends to not be on a lot of people’s radar unless it’s been explicitly mentioned (also, many bi folks choose to stay in the closet and benefit from heterosexual privilege, or people might simply assume that they’re either straight or gay upon seeing them with a lover of whichever gender; additionally, there are so many stereotypes and misconceptions going around about bisexuality that, as one blogger discusses, it can be difficult to decide how to come out about it).

When it comes to non-heterosexual folks who are already getting married, let’s not forget the people who identify as pansexual, or trans, or primal, or kinky, or … the list goes on. And yet gay marriage is such a big, scary issue to some. It makes me wonder if the people trying to make laws about marriage have any idea about how diverse human sexuality is. Probably not – and more’s the pity.

About Jeana


Jeana Jorgensen, PhD recently completed her doctoral degree in folklore and gender studies at Indiana University. She studies fairy tales and other narratives, dance, body art, feminist theory, digital humanities, and gender identity.