Boys want relationships too

This New York Times article reports on research – or at least the media’s willingness to pay attention to research – that suggests that teenaged boys, like teenaged girls, want relationships. They are not just all about sex though of course they  experience sexual desire and arousal. 

This is what I see among the college students I teach too. Publicly, in class, young men may act like they are all about sex but when they are able to write papers about their experiences and what they want, they say that they want relationships, they want to date, and they want to fall in love and find a committed partner. Do some of them also want a period where they can explore, more physically, without commitment? Yes, some do (like some girls). But overwhelmingly, men and women both seem to want affection and commitment and relationships in which they can flourish. Then again, in order to get and maintain these relationships, they also need the support of their parents, teachers and other caregivers so that they can develop the communication skills that will help them with their relationships.

It’s a good article and I highly suggest you take three minutes to read it here.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at