This weekend, I scored big time. First, I found a red Gone-with-the-Wind-ish petticoat in a vintage shop. Then, I arrived home to find the Sqweel – a brand new, pre-release, revolutionary, wow-factor sex toy – waiting for me in a stack of mail. The good news? The Sqweel is orgasmic-ly awesome. Even better? As of 12:01am today, it is officially available to the rest of you.
As the name suggests, the Sqweel merges the wheel (one of humankind’s greatest inventions) with sex (one of humankind’s greatest pleasures). Except instead of typical wheel spokes, it turns a series of tongues â€“ 10 tongues, actually â€“ using 3 speeds. Let me repeat: there are TEN TONGUES. It’s like group oral sex with everyone somehow fitting in between your legs. Or oral sex with an extremely talented and eager lover.
The Sqweel is a remarkable sex toy designed by an Irishman (and animator) named Trevor Murphy who won LoveHoney’s Design a Sex Toy competition a few years back. This fact gives me tremendous hope that other animators, engineers and people who sit with their computers or graphics tablets all day will soon turn their talents to advance sex toy design and innovation. If not for me, then for the love of sex. Please?
Though not a vibrator, the folks at LoveHoney suggest (and I agree) that while vibrators can certainly contribute to highly pleasurable sex play, there’s something to be said for non-vibrating play that promotes slow yummy build-up, much as oral sex does, and that perhaps leads to an orgasm that leaves one feeling that curious mix of satisfaction and craving more.
A few key points about the Sqweel, aside from the 10-tongue 3-speed yum:
- Materials: The tongues are made of silicone (easy to clean, non-toxic awesomeness) while the black compartment is made of soft plastic.
- Hygiene: The tongue component can be removed from its holder for easy cleaning of both parts.
- Power: What does it run on, you ask? (Aside from the Grace of the Sex Gods). Three AAA batteries. I would have preferred AA batteries rather than the AAA batteries that few people keep lying around the house (whereas, if needed in a pinch, AA batteries may be scrounged from TV remotes or Flipcams).
- Cost: At £34.99 UK pounds (and yes, they ship to the US in only a few waiting-with-bated-breath days), I find the price fair even after the conversion to USD. Especially if you want to switch out your vibrator from time to time, gift your partner with a tongue that doesn’t stop or give yourself a break from lockjaw.
- Endurance: No more lock jaw! Or at least you get a break. The Sqweel is not intended to replace oral sex, nor should it (after all, oral sex can be lovely, intimate and passionate). But it may offer an occasional alternative, or complement, to oral play, which is especially useful for partners whose tongues, jaws, necks or lower backs get sore from extended oral play.
- Single or doubles? Both. The Sqweel can easily be used privately or with a partner. It’s comfortable to hold in one’s own hand during self-pleasure of one’s outside parts (please do NOT try to insert all the way in the anus, lest I recount one man’s salad tongs incident). When pleasuring your partner, it’s not so bulky (only 4.5 in X 4 in X 1 inch at its thickest) as to block your view.
- Education: Similar to the Sasi, which also mimics oral sex, women who would like to learn to orgasm from oral sex may find it helpful to practice with the Sqweel.
- Lube: Due to the Sqweel’s silicone components, silicone lube is a no-no. Instead, try a water based lube applied directly to your or your partner’s body as: (1) there are too many tongues to put lube on every single one and (2) I could easily see the globs of lube go flying as the tongue spokes go round and round and no one needs lube on their ceiling.
- Convenience: Now you can provide your partner with oral pleasure via the Sqweel while simultaneously kissing each other, sitting back and watching, talking dirty, or breathing warm air on your partner’s genitals.
- Conversation: If your partner is using the Sqweel on you and you ask him or her a question, your partner can actually answer you rather than making that awkward “mwawahwah” sound that people make when they try to speak while performing oral sex.
I would like to see a Sqweel iPhone app. It doesn’t have to vibrate like the fancy MyPleasure MyVibe app, it just has to have a great visual of rotating tongues in which the user can control the speed of vibration. Make it free. Pass it along. It will excite and satisfy in its own way and further solidify my sense that the iPhone has the capacity to be an amazing sex toy.
I’m planning to play a bit more with the Sqweel before my final “This Is What It Feels Like” review but in the mean time, I hope you’re as intrigued by this interesting (and yes, fun to use so far) toy as I am.
10 tongues. TEN. The only thing better would be 11. Or 10 plus chocolate.
Comes apart for easy cleaning
Unlikely to produce Fleshlight-furniture-ish shame spiral during use, storage or cleaning
Comfortable to hold
Easy to store in a nightstand or sock drawer
Requires three AAA batteries (a con in my household given that I mostly keep AAs on hand, but may be fine in yours)
Looks like a tape measure
Only 3 speeds. Given how women and men vary, I’d have gone with 5 or 7.
Learn more about the Sqweel on LoveHoney (UK). Follow me on Twitter @mysexprofessor and check out my new book, Because It Feels Good, for tips on enhancing desire (especially if you have mis-matched sex drives), getting over sex “hang ups”, women’s orgasm, using sex toys alone or with a partner, increasing arousal/lubrication and generally just having a better, more satisfying sex life. You can also view my video review of the Sqweel.
The above product review was not paid for/sponsored; however, LoveHoney did provide a free sample of the product.