"Love is getting someone a glass of water in the middle of the night." – Charles M. Schulz, in a worn 1979 copy of Love is… Walking Hand-in-Hand
I have always felt that I have to have a glass of water on my night stand before I fall sleep. When I arrive at a hotel or stay at a friend’s house, the side of the bed I will sleep on is completely determined by which side I can access a night stand from. Because of this habit, I have long had a special place in my heart – well, okay, I have even fallen – for people who will get up in the middle of the night to get me a drink of water if I need one.
And I’ve also, when watching friends’ children overnight, felt really good to have the chance to get a drink of water for a child who wants one. Or to sit with them when they have a nightmare.
We are so vulnerable in our sleep. And it is a wonderful thing to feel like someone cares for you. I also think it feels just as wonderful to be able to take care of someone else when they wake from a nightmare, need a drink, or need to be held. And yes, since this is also a site about sexuality, let’s not be afraid to say that it’s sometimes nice to be able to wake up, hug and kiss your partner, or have sex (Yikes, did you ever imagine Peanuts and a sex talk on the same page?)
Sometimes when two people are in love, the bed that they share can feel like the safest, happiest, most comforting place to be in the world. Like everything that you want – or could possibly want – is right there in that bed. If you are fortunate, and you work hard at staying committed to your relationship and the values that matter to you – that bed can stay a safe harbor. If you mess up, or things otherwise fall apart, that bed can seem incredibly sad or scary. Like some of you, I’ve been there… and strangely enough, I’m grateful if only because it has reinforced to me the importance of protecting one’s relationship.
If you share a bed with someone these days, or if you have in the past (or hope to in the future), you might find the book Two in a Bed to be interesting – the book covers interviews with adults about snoring, sleeping, making love, stealing covers, touching feet, feeling safe and choosing sides in ways that one rarely finds elsewhere.