dear dr. debby ( quite an alliteration)
my girlfriend just broke up with me and i’m starting to wonder
about the wisdom of dating at all, given the reality that one has
to have chic clothes, a great patter of conversation, and a bigger
than average … wallet. then i read your article on barn sparrows
attraction to the opposite sex, so my question is is there a cross
human avian compatibility here? if so, how much are brown magic
markers these days and how many do i need?
What a sweet letter! I think we’ve all wished it were as easy as brown magic markers (read the original post if you’re new to MSP or don’t recall the story). I don’t know of any quick fix to make one attractive to others – which I suppose is a good thing, though, because we don’t really want to attract everyone else – we generally just want to attract a particular person and at a particular time.
That said, I understand that breakups are often painful both for the person who did the breaking up and the person who was broken up with. Both are difficult in different ways, especially after long relationships. Sometimes it takes time to start again. Time and a willingness to step back into the ring. The book "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" may be particularly useful – occasionally I think the title sounds overly dramatic but for some people it is an issue of feeling like they can survive or push pass an utterly devastating time. And for those who are having a more moderate reaction to the breakup, the book still has very useful tips about taking care of oneself, addressing the heartbreak or disappointment, and taking the time move on at a pace that feels right.