Sex exercises for better sex

for each other lonnie barbach

For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy by Lonnie Barbach, PhD is a book that I commonly recommend to college students who take my human sexuality class. It is also a book that is frequently used in sex therapy for couples who are experiencing a range of issues related to their relationship and/or their sexual lives including:

- different levels of sexual desire or interest (or a significant decrease in desire/libido)
- challenges and frustrations related to women’s orgasm
- wanting a male partner to either come more quickly or to hold off and wait before having an orgasm
- body image issues and how they relate to sex
- communicating about sex
- feeling connected during sex

It’s often particularly useful for couples to read this book together and it provides concrete suggestions for “exercises” that couples can try as they work to improve their experiences with sexuality. I’ve recommended it to individuals and couples of various ages and have heard equally positive results from college students as I have heard from older adults in their forties, sixties and beyond.

Though great for couples, you might benefit from some of the information or tips even if you don’t have a partner (or even if you do have a partner but your partner doesn’t want to read it with you). The exercises in the book are broad enough, too, that they can be used even by people who are not having intercourse, but who want to be sensual or sexual with a partner in other ways, such as through sensual touching, making out or other types of sex. In fact, temporarily NOT having intercourse – and instead trying different body touch exercises described in this book- is one strategy that is sometimes used as a way to eventually have more pleasurable, enjoyable and desired sex. Though heterosexual in focus, most exercises can be applied to same-sex relationships too. Check it out and let us know what you think.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • patrick

    Nice article Debby. Reading books on sex education is a great way to acquire knowledge on the subject. You are right when you say that couples should read such books together as there shouldn’t be any shame in trying to enhance your sexual experience. Also books are a great way to know about the different acts of love and try new things to rejuvenate your relationship with your love.

  • patrick

    Nice article Debby. Reading books on sex education is a great way to acquire knowledge on the subject. You are right when you say that couples should read such books together as there shouldn’t be any shame in trying to enhance your sexual experience. Also books are a great way to know about the different acts of love and try new things to rejuvenate your relationship with your love.

  • Debby

    Thanks for your comments, Patrick. I wholeheartedly agree that reading books together can be enhancing to a relationship. Too, reading about sex can help two people to feel more comfortable reading about sex and perhaps even talking about sex. Best, Debby

  • Debby

    Thanks for your comments, Patrick. I wholeheartedly agree that reading books together can be enhancing to a relationship. Too, reading about sex can help two people to feel more comfortable reading about sex and perhaps even talking about sex. Best, Debby

  • Adam & Eve, Adult Sex Toys

    This is just fantastic to know that such exercises exist. Why such books never came before. It would have helped hundreds of marriages to sustain the break. I was in a hurry to order the book. I’m just going through the pages of these wonderfully written articles and wish to try very soon with my partner

  • Adam & Eve, Adult Sex Toys

    This is just fantastic to know that such exercises exist. Why such books never came before. It would have helped hundreds of marriages to sustain the break. I was in a hurry to order the book. I’m just going through the pages of these wonderfully written articles and wish to try very soon with my partner