Dear Indiana: Please Recognize Federal Laws About Same-Sex Partners

As an Indiana resident, I’m upset that not only is gay marriage still not legal in my state, but that the federal law to extend visitation rights to same-sex partners is not being recognized here. Recently, a woman living in Indianapolis was hospitalized while unconscious, and her (female) partner has been banned from visiting her bedside because the unconscious woman’s mother disapproves of their relationship. A 2010 federal law specifies that even in states where gay marriage isn’t yet legal, hospitals that accept Medicare and Medicaid must extend same-sex partner visitation rights. But that clearly hasn’t happened here. That needs to change. Continue Reading →

Comparing “Real Food” And “Real Women” Rhetoric

We’ve all seen the “real women” memes: “Real women have curves,” and so on. There’s been some pushing back against these ideas, which I think is useful, since holding up one category of womanhood as more “real” than another is ultimately essentializing and harmful. This intriguing blog post, Real Food, draws a parallel between the “real women” meme and arguments about “real food,” arguing that this logic is problematic on several levels. First, the “real food” rhetoric tends to be very judgmental: I’ve met very few people who make personal choices of the “real food” persuasion without also pressuring those around them…without also proclaiming that the foods most people rely on to survive are inherently inferior…without also implying that the reason the rest of us are fat, or poor, or don’t have shiny hair, or don’t walk around perpetually bathed in magical sunbeams of happiness, is entirely because we eat the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad food — the food that is not Real. The same thing goes for femininity and “real” women. Continue Reading →

Let’s List How Feminism Hurts Men

I’m a fan of satirical role reversals in rhetoric, as with this list of how to end sexual assault by limiting men’s freedom. Now there’s a list of all the ways in which feminism hurts men. We see examples like “Because of feminism, all birth control is covered for women without question or debate, while men have to fight to get insurance companies to pay for their Viagra prescriptions” and “Because of feminism, it’s hard to find a movie with a heroic male lead anymore.” It really makes you think, doesn’t it? Since all of the examples are so obviously exaggerated… Continue Reading →

Why Can’t We Just Talk About Sex?

I’m annoyed at our sex-phobic culture a lot of the time, for a lot of reasons, but today it’s specifically because we consider it taboo to talk about sex outside of a few limited contexts. When is it okay to talk about sex? Presumably with one’s partner(s) – though in the mainstream culture it’s assumed that in order to talk about sex you’re heterosexually married and pursuing sexual activities as a way to procreate. And in theory you should be able to discuss sex with your medical professionals, especially if you’re experiencing a disorder that’s sexual in nature (genital pain, trying to conceive, etc.). Otherwise, there aren’t many socially acceptable venues in which to openly and honestly discuss sex. Continue Reading →

Thanksgiving: Sex Things to be Thankful For

In addition to family, friends, good health, and an enchanting world to live in, here are some things I am thankful for about sexuality and bodies and maybe you are too:

1) Vaginal tenting: The process by which sexual excitation causes the vagina to expand in length and width makes for more comfortable, pleasurable vaginal intercourse and vaginal penetration and that makes these types of sex better for many people the world over. 2) Lubrication: Here I mean both vaginal lubrication and store-bought lubricant, as each can make different types of sex and sex play more comfortable and pleasurable. Spending enough time doing exciting foreplay/sex play things in ways that enhance vaginal lubrication can also help to reduce the risk of vaginal discomfort, pain, and/or tearing. So much to be grateful for! 3) Erections: I hope to never lose wonder over the magic of erections. Continue Reading →

Media Misrepresentation – Where Are The Boys?

I recently introduced the 2011 documentary Miss Representation to the 12th grade Health and Wellness class I teach. The film touches upon (well, hammers, really) some themes that are near and dear to my young feminist heart: objectification, media representation, gender stereotypes, and the like. As I expected, they ate it up. Each new disturbing infographic that flashed over the screen garnered a heavier sigh, a snarkier chortle. And with good reason. Continue Reading →

Transgender Teen Denied Yearbook Photo

A teenager in Texas is being told that his yearbook photo (in which he wears a tuxedo) will not be published in the yearbook. According to the school district, the photo does not meet “community standards.” This is because the teen, who identifies as male, refused to wear a drape or blouse as was required of the schools’ girls (the school apparently refuses to recognize the teen’s choice to live as transgender). This is unfortunately yet another incident wherein the choices of individuals regarding their own gender or sexuality identity are not institutionally respected. Continue Reading →

I’m Just Not That Into You: Reasons For Turning Down A Second Date

Is there a bad reason to not go out on a second date? Blogger Anna Davies at Refinery 29 made me wonder if there are ridiculous reasons out there. In her piece, ten different readers listed a reason why they had decided that one date was enough (or in some cases, more than enough). I know from personal experience that sometimes you’re just not meant to be with a person – maybe on that first date you just don’t click romantically or after one date you are rather irritated and just can’t imagine spending one more cup of coffee with that person (sorry, Ron). One person in the article simply says, “he said he hated yoga.” Continue Reading →

5 Reasons Why You Should Be Watching Masters of Sex (Photos NSFW)

Within the span of three days, I received text messages from each of my (divorced) parents insisting that I watch “the new sex show” on Showtime. Mind you, my parents assume that my newly-minted bachelor’s degree in Sexuality Studies grants them permission to send me a daily smattering of sex-related articles, which I usually find sort of endearing and only slightly annoying. For whatever reason, I decided to give this particular suggestion a go. And oh. My. Continue Reading →

Call Of (Female) Duty

I won’t claim to be anywhere near an expert player of Call Of Duty (now Tetris is another story – I have yet to have a friend beat me at that). However, a few of my friends are huge fans of the game, and as such I’ve learned a little bit about it. I like that you can customize some of your weapons (I love the cherry blossom print guns), but did wonder why there are only minimal options for the soldiers themselves? One problem I had with the soldier options were that they were all male – but that’s soon going to change! When the latest version is released this month (Call of Duty Ghosts) players will have the option to choose the gender of their soldier. Continue Reading →