Would You Say You Had Sex If… He Came In Your Thigh Crease?

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The phrase “having sex” means different things to different people. Most people agree that penile-vaginal intercourse counts as sex and that if you’ve had penile-vaginal intercourse with a person then you’ve “had sex” with them and that the person counts as a sexual partner. However, what counts as sex isn’t always so cut and dry (and can vary by age, gender, and self-identified sexual orientation among other factors). When I first began working at The Kinsey Institute in 1999, a study that one of my mentors – Dr. Stephanie Sanders – conducted with her colleague, Dr. June Reinisch, that had examined college students’ meanings of having “had sex” was newly published. The study made waves in large part because it came at a time when Americans and politicians in particular were debating whether oral sex was sex, and thus whether President Bill Clinton was being truthful when he said he had not “had sex with that woman”. Continue Reading →

Filed under: Sexual Health

Gender And The Marriage Name-Change

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What happens when a man adopts his wife’s last name upon marriage? A boatload of trouble, apparently. A Florida man legally changed his name in order to take his wife’s last name, doing all the necessary paperwork to get a new passport, Social Security card, and so on. However, after receiving a new driver’s license, the Florida DMV accused him of fraud. His license was suspended, and only just now was the suspension lifted. Continue Reading →

Filed under: Gender Issues, Love & Relationships, equality, Marriage, names

An International View Of Women In Combat

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The decision to lift the ban on American women serving in combat has led to mixed reactions. Some marines, for instance, are skeptical that integration on the front lines will be beneficial or realistic. However, National Geographic’s overview of 8 other nations that send women into combat shows that a variety of solutions to these dilemmas exist. Israel and Canada both provide examples of integration (the Canada link is especially worth reading since its author dispels many of the assumptions that female soldiers will be weaker or more frightened, citing the traumatic effects of war for soldiers of both genders as well as male soldiers’ underreporting due to constructions of hyper-masculinity). Of course, there are numerous examples of historical women in combat, so none of this is necessarily new ground. Continue Reading →

Filed under: Gender Issues, Sex In the News, combat, military, sexism

Protecting Heterosexual Marriage… Because Of “Unplanned” Offspring?

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Lawyers defending the Defense of Marriage Act have chosen an unusual argument to make: only heterosexual couples can ”produce unplanned and unintended offspring,” and thus they need the sacrament of marriage to… I don’t know… protect them from… okay, I give up, they’ve lost me. That argument makes no sense whatsoever. Continue Reading →

Filed under: GLBT, Sex In the News, gay marriage

Queer Alphabet Soup: Moving Beyond Sexual Inclusivity

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LGTBQIA…and the list goes on. What we once simply called gay expanded to gay and lesbian, then to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender, and then further to include the umbrella term queer, as well as intersex and asexual. A recent New York Times article by Michael Schulman tackles this expansion of inclusive terms, discussing the new generation of queers and the gender inclusivity that they are striving for. “If the gay-rights movement today seems to revolve around same-sex marriage, this generation is seeking something more radical: an upending of gender roles beyond the binary of male/female. The core question isn’t whom they love, but who they are — that is, identity as distinct from sexual orientation. Continue Reading →

Filed under: Communication, Culture, Gender Issues, GLBT, Language

Jimmyjane Hello Touch Review

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I’ve always thought that the purpose of sex toys is to enhance a sexual experience. Usually toys provide some sort of sensation that your body (or your partner’s body) alone can’t provide. The Hello Touch wearable vibrator from Jimmyjane takes this enhancement to a new level. When I first saw the Hello Touch, I thought it was some sort of iPod accessory. Seriously, doesn’t this look like something you might go jogging with? Continue Reading →

Filed under: Reviews, Sex Toy Reviews

Praying Mantis Sex: How Often Do the Females Eat the Males?

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You may have heard that the female praying mantis eats its mate post-copulation. Fortunately for the male praying mantis, this doesn’t seem to be the case – at least in every instance:
“By most estimates, sexual cannibalism by praying mantis females occurs less than 30% of the time outside the lab. Those are pretty good odds for the fellows. Praying mantis sex, it turns out, is really a rather romantic series of courtship rituals that typically ends satisfactorily and safely for both parties involved.” (Source: Insects.About.com)
Follow Debby on Twitter at @DebbyHerbenick or follow MSP at @MySexProfessor Continue Reading →

Filed under: Art & Culture, Nature

Would Limiting Men’s Freedom End Sexual Assault?

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The brilliant post What If We Responded to Sexual Assault by Limiting Men’s Freedom Like We Limit Women’s? turns sexism on its head by suggesting that since men who assault cannot control themselves, we should put restrictions on all men, such as making them wear blindfolds in places where they might encounter women in skimpy clothing. The author’s not serious, of course, but the satirical technique of role-reversal can reveal the underlying assumptions of well-meaning advice. Does this make you uncomfortable? Good, it should. Continue Reading →

Filed under: Sexual Assault & Rape, satire