What’s Your First Kiss Doing Now?

Recently, driving back from the airport, Nickleback’s song “Photograph” came on the radio (listen here). The lyrics are full of assorted memories, mostly from high school days, including (presumably) this one:

Kim’s the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She’s had a couple of kids since then
I haven’t seen her since god knows when

I started thinking about my own first kiss and what he’s doing now and how most of us probably know what our first kisses are up to thanks to Facebook, Google or their personal blogs. Before Facebook existed, people probably had to depend on running into their first kiss or that person’s friends at a high school reunion in order to know what they were up to as an adult, unless they were still friends. Maybe that was awkward because if you ran into their friends, you’d have to ask what your first kiss was up to without seeming eager to know (what a fine line to balance between seeming curious and “interested”). Now we can often find out with just a few clickety clacks of a keyboard or a finger tap of a Facebook app.

My First Kiss

Thanks to Facebook – and not real life as we don’t live in the same place or talk or have friends in common – I know roughly what my first kiss is up to as he comes across my Facebook newsfeed every now and again. He’s a doctor. He travels a lot. And he has an adorable dog. Mostly, I forget he exists until something pops up in my newsfeed and I’m sure the same is true for him.

I also know that in the years we’ve been first MySpace-connected and now Facebook-connected, he doesn’t ever seem to be in a relationship. . Because I don’t know the first thing about the person he is today, I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing as far as he’s concerned. And I don’t give it much thought since we don’t know each other anymore. But I do know that his heart is a good one, and he is loving, kind and smart. He also has the capacity to wrap his entire heart around a person, or at least he did back then, so I hope he finds someone to love and to love him back when he’s ready for it or wants it.

Now, your turn: what’s your first kiss up to? And how do you know?

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About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • http://twitter.com/MzHartz Michelle Hartz

    My first kiss, man I had lost my virginity to, first real boyfriend, and first love were all the same man. Our relationship ended amicably, and we stayed friends for a little while. But when I saw him a couple months ago at a party, he avoided me, so I didn’t get to catch up. It makes me sad. I’d love to know what he has been up to.
    I wrote a blog post about it: http://blog.hartzdesign.com/2010/09/seeing-past-love.html

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1173150957 Holly Moyseenko Kossover

    I actually have no clue what my first kiss is up to. We lost touch a long time ago. However, I do not feel too bad as I have very little (if any!) emotional attachment to him and that memory. I do know what my first love is up to though. We stayed in contact for a while, then just sort of drifted apart, something that happens too often when you have two busy people and very separate lives. We got back in touch this summer, and communicate on a regular basis (yay for Facebook!). While I know that I am not in love with him any more, he is a great person and I am so glad to have him in my life as a friend.