MSP Question & Answer: Massage

 

Question:
Two of us (a man and a woman) are going to give a third (a woman) a full body massage for Valentine’s Day. We have both given massages before, but never together. Do you have any recommendations on “logistics” (for lack of a better word) so that we are not working at cross-purposes while massaging? I’m afraid if we each do an arm at the same time, our touches may be so different that it pulls her (figuratively) in two different directions, and that neither becomes relaxing. Any advice?

Answer:
Thanks for your question. It seems to me like there are a few issues here: the symmetry of the massage, the logistics of maneuvering around each other, and the client/gift recipient’s needs (how lucky she is to have such a thoughtful massage therapist, by the way!!). 

I agree that it may feel odd if you are both working on the same parts, just different sides, at the same time. It also may not be best for the body as you may end up with one side getting a firm massage and the second side a lighter massage.

Instead, I would consider ways that your touches can complement each other. I have enjoyed massages where touches were somewhat surprising – like while hands were firmly traveling down the sides of my back, suddenly another hand was more lightly moving up and down my spine. So if you can think about different forms of touch and ways that you can pay attention to each other without words (so it doesn’t become a noisy negotiation while she is trying to relax), that may help. You might even designate one person to "lead" the massage and the other to be the complement to the touch so that you don’t have to constantly talk during the massage about what you are going to do.

You might also talk to the client/giftee at the start and say something like "for many people, having four hands instead of two is like a dream come true! You can have your back massaged while, at the same time, making sure that enough time is spent on other places you might like touched such as in between your toes, or your hands, scalp, or the muscles in your legs." It may be that you can talk about this while she is still dressed, and ask to think about this while she is getting undressed, thus giving her some time to think about what is feeling tense or tight on that particular day. When you two enter the room, she can let you know what she has thought and you may be able to work on one part while your massage partner can work on the other part.

In the end, your intentions as a massage team and the receptivity of your client will be integral parts of the experience. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Best,

Debby

[Above image via this site.]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • brittany

    i have like little prickles on my but and i am a girl what should i do is that ok? what well a boy think about me when we have sex?

    and my vaginia is kinda fat is that ok too?

  • brittany

    i have like little prickles on my but and i am a girl what should i do is that ok? what well a boy think about me when we have sex?

    and my vaginia is kinda fat is that ok too?