Dan Savage and I get the same sex question: When sex columnists collide

Hair Salon

A couple of weeks ago I was at the salon getting my hair done, trying but failing to not be the woman who checks her blackberry while sitting in the stylist’s chair, when I get a text message that says “Savage Love and you have the same question up right now.” Enjoying my lovely afternoon at the salon and not thinking much about it, I write back, “Really? Which one?” and then, a moment later as a-ha moment kicks in, “Same in content or exact same words?” to which I get “The one about the 40 year old gay guy whose bf was making him buy everything” and then “Exact same words”.

WTF?

When I returned to work I saw that, in fact, Dan Savage and I had indeed run the exact same question though we had edited it in slightly different ways (the original letter came in via snail mail and was more than a single spaced page – try printing that in a magazine column) – mine in Time Out Chicago, his in his syndicated column.

And as much as I tend to think Dan Savage and I tend to give radically different responses – mine more health-focused and “awww, the world is such a pretty place, let’s all be kind to each other and have great sex” and Dan more political-focused, ALL-CAPS and “the world is kind of fucked up, but don’t be an asshole and do have good sex”, I guess it’s not always the case – check out my column and his to see what you think.

Image via truecolorhairsalon.com

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

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  • http://www.ramahughes.com/ rama

    1) it’s reassuring that two advice columnists would give the same response. i wonder how the advisee took the double-whammy.

    2) the coincidence also highlights the stylistic differences between you and dan savage. which is interesting in its own right. … i think it’s interesting how you evaluate your own approach too. i’m frequently curious about how people think of their styles of writing or drawing or doing the work they do. boiled down, it seems to reflect their hopes about life.

  • http://www.ramahughes.com rama

    1) it’s reassuring that two advice columnists would give the same response. i wonder how the advisee took the double-whammy.

    2) the coincidence also highlights the stylistic differences between you and dan savage. which is interesting in its own right. … i think it’s interesting how you evaluate your own approach too. i’m frequently curious about how people think of their styles of writing or drawing or doing the work they do. boiled down, it seems to reflect their hopes about life.

  • Fifty-Two-Eighty

    Yeah, but there’s one big difference between you and Dan. He uses an iPhone.

  • Fifty-Two-Eighty

    Yeah, but there’s one big difference between you and Dan. He uses an iPhone.

  • Debby

    @Fifty-Two-Eighty. Um, okay, not sure where this is going but so do I (though I didn’t in Sept 07 when that post was written – see date).

  • Debby

    @Fifty-Two-Eighty. Um, okay, not sure where this is going but so do I (though I didn’t in Sept 07 when that post was written – see date).