When you think about how sex is pictured in the movies, what do you think of? Brute Reason gives us a summary of the usual scenario: man meets woman, and without much or any discussion of their sexual preferences or desires, they proceed to have awesome, mind-blowing sex.
How often does that actually happen in real life? We’re gonna say infrequently, if ever. And yet it’s still held up as this Holy Grail, the object of never-ending quests, the goal to which all sexual partners ought aspire.
What you can do to de-condition yourself from expecting this rather unrealistic kind of sex is communicate, communicate, communicate. As the blogger at Brute Reason says: “nobody who really wants to have sex with you will be turned off by you telling them you want to have sex with them. In fact, they’ll probably be turned on. They may be a bit shy and embarrassed at first, because this kind of genuine, open forwardness about sex isn’t something our culture encourages. But they’ll probably get over it if they really want you.”
The movies may not clue you in to this with their portrayal of sex, but we think that it’s consent and communication – not necessarily chemistry – that makes for great sex. Check out MSP blogger Holly’s tips on communicating about sex for some concrete ideas on how to get started.
Thanks to Wikimedia for the image.
Follow us on Twitter @mysexprofessor. Follow Jeana, the author of this post, @foxyfolklorist.