Love (And Marry?) Yourself First

Growing up, my mom always told me that I couldn’t expect someone to love me until I truly loved myself. I’m sure lots of other people heard similar things from their parents. If you heard that, and were anything like me, you probably nodded and went “Yeah, yeah, sure thing” and didn’t really pay it a lot of attention. However, I’ve found that, at least for me, it really is true that you need to love yourself first. A friend of mine even posed the statement as a question, and asked if me if I would be friends with myself if I met myself on the street. Would you? It’s an interesting thought, at least. Then I came across an article about a woman in North Dakota who took the message to heart and decided she loved herself enough that she wanted to marry herself.

Image courtesy of Anderson and the Daily Mail UK

She didn’t do this for a kick-ass registry, but because she wanted to celebrate how far she has come. Nadine Schweigert explained, “It was a very happy thing. It was me standing up for myself and owning that I’m responsible for my happiness.” She even takes time to invest in her relationship, and has dedicated date nights. I’ve read that having date nights even after one is in a long term relationship is a good idea – taking time to get ready and do things that you may not have done as much lately. So, Ms Schweigert takes time to put on makeup and get ready, then goes out to eat a restaurant. I have to admire her for all of this, especially because (at least for me) going out to eat solo can be very intimidating. At a conference I recently attended solo, I decided to go venture out in a strange city and eat. I almost went to a tapas joint because I had dated someone who loved tapas – and then realized that I actually don’t like tapas all that much. I went for sushi (which I love – and I was on the coast in California) and instead of trying to squeeze into one solo spot at the sushi bar, I asked for a table. Naturally the host asked how many, and when I said “one,” she seemed confused and asked if I was waiting for someone. “Nope, just me!” I said. I gestured to a book, as I figured if I couldn’t deal with my own company I could at least read a little.

So, when Ms Schweigert is on her dates, she enjoys herself - she’s not reading a magazine or scrolling through Facebook on her smart phone. Also, her ceremony seemed incredibly sweet and personal. She didn’t opt for a suit or a poofy white dress, but instead went for a blue satin gown that I thought was very beautiful on her.

Would you be willing to marry yourself? Do you agree that you need to love yourself before you can let someone love you?

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About Holly Moyseenko

Holly Moyseenko is a sex educator living in Ohio. She is an advocate of positive and healthy sexuality. Holly currently works for a non-profit health organization as a health educator, and also teaches workshops that focus on many topics within the realm of healthy sexuality. In her spare time, she also is an advocate for survivors of sexual assault, gardens, reads anything within reach, drinks copious amounts of tea, and naps with her two dogs.