IDS friends with benefits article

Several months ago I was interviewed for an article about friends with benefits for Indiana University’s IDS (the student newspaper). You can read the full article – and a few of my own and others’ thoughts on the topic – on their web site here.

Generally speaking, I think that women and men can learn about relationships and sexuality from a wide range of relationship types – e.g., friends, family, committed romantic partners and yes, even friends with benefits. That said, I think it’s important to keep in mind what you want in life. If you are aiming for a committed monogamous relationship with someone who is totally in love with you, then a friends with benefits situation might not be the easiest, most pleasurable or skill-building pathway to that. Then again, if you want is to explore sexuality or your romantic feelings with someone you like, feel comfortable with, but aren’t about to get into something serious with, then a friends with benefits situation may be what you’re looking for.

Like anything else, I think it pays to be mindful of what you’re looking for.

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About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at