Tangerine Consent

On a lighter note, my partner and I were recently driving somewhere, and I was feeding him a tangerine (as he was the one driving). We generally have good communication in our relationship, especially when it comes to consent, which we took to a silly level with the act of eating a tangerine.

Me: *tries to put a tangerine slice in his mouth*

Him: “I don’t consent to this. My silence is not consent.”

Me: “But your body language made it look like you were asking for it!”

Him: “Stop blaming the victim!”

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry. Do you want some tangerine now?”

Him: “Yes! Feed it to me! Feed it to me now!”

Me: “Wow, I love how enthusiastically you are in giving your consent. That makes me feel really great about this experience.”

Him: “Me too. It helps that neither of us is impaired right now, so we’re able to give our informed consent.”

Me: “Yeah, totally. Do you want some more?”

Him: “Okay, but be gentle with this one.”

Me: “Sure. I like it that you’re helping me understand your preferences.”

Him: “Are you having any?”

Me: “Whoa, cue performance anxiety. I’ll have some when I feel like it, is that okay? Will that detract from your enjoyment?”

Him: “That’s fine. We can each approach tangerine-eating in our own way, so long as we’re considerate of the other’s needs and desire.”

Me: “Totally.”

*we both laugh*

So yeah, we were being silly, but sometimes I need some silliness after I’ve been writing about sexual assault and serious stuff like that a lot. And I love the fact that my partner is versed enough in feminist and sex-positive concepts like consent (and enthusiastic consent) that we can use those concepts in jokes about very mundane things like eating in the car.

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About Jeana


Jeana Jorgensen, PhD recently completed her doctoral degree in folklore and gender studies at Indiana University. She studies fairy tales and other narratives, dance, body art, feminist theory, digital humanities, and gender identity.

  • http://curvaceousdee.com/ Curvaceous Dee

    *grin* Love this :)

    xx Dee

  • http://twitter.com/foxyfolklorist Jeana Jorgensen

    I’m glad you enjoyed this! (so is my partner, who’s reading this over my shoulder)