Coffee shop journal entry #2: Falling in love again (after heartbreak)

Another picture that I took of a coffee shop journal entry. It reads:

I had learned through life experiences to be wary of love. Love hurts. Breaks your soul. But I have discovered that life experiences sometimes are only to make you see the beauty in things to come. Love does not always hurt. Love can invigorate you – dredge you up from the depths of hell. Now, through God’s grace, I understand. I was only being prepared for this, the rarest of all things, the true pure love that I feel for you. Unlike everything I’ve ever known. And I am grateful every day to wake up in the morning and just watch you breathing, laying next to me. I am grateful for every loving gaze into my eyes, every time your arms are wrapped around me. And I am grateful, most of all, that I never completely gave up on love. Thanks to God, and to you, for the joy and wonder that is my life. I love you. Today, tomorrow, forever.

Come on, now. Thoughts, anyone? Were you as moved as I was? Okay, so there is one tiny cynical side of me that thinks, um, was this written by a high school senior or college sophomore (or similar young, inexperienced person) who had one bad high school heartbreak, then fell in love again and now thinks that they have found nirvana? And then there is a bigger part of me that is like, right on! I know! I have been there – all of the "theres", by the way. The sadness. The despair. The heartbreak. Getting to the point where you think "okay, I’m pretty sure I’ll fall in love again one day, but right now I can’t imagine ever being able to fall in love". And then I also know the euphoria, and the calm, and the gratitude of having hung in there and fallen in love again and then going "ah, so THIS is what I was missing before."

Thoughts"?

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • Marcey

    I read this and immediately thought about my husband and how much I love him. I am going to share this post with him, to let him know this is how I feel about him. Even though he knows it, we often find unique ways to tell each other how we feel. For example, when he was out of town for a whole week (sob), by the 5th day I was miserable and sent him a link to the youtube of Faith Hill singing “Breathe” – the one where she is alone, yearning for her man. In reply, he sent me “Let’s Make Love” by Faith and her husband Tim McGraw. It moved me to tears.

  • Marcey

    I read this and immediately thought about my husband and how much I love him. I am going to share this post with him, to let him know this is how I feel about him. Even though he knows it, we often find unique ways to tell each other how we feel. For example, when he was out of town for a whole week (sob), by the 5th day I was miserable and sent him a link to the youtube of Faith Hill singing “Breathe” – the one where she is alone, yearning for her man. In reply, he sent me “Let’s Make Love” by Faith and her husband Tim McGraw. It moved me to tears.

  • Debby

    What sweet displays of love you two have between each other!!

  • Debby

    What sweet displays of love you two have between each other!!

  • Tracia

    I’m very touched by this post. It depicts the stage in life that i am right now. I’ve been hurt so badly by my last relationship that i never felt i could be in love again but i am now. the funny thing is, the love i have for my boyfriend of 2 years now let me realize that what i felt before didn’t even come close.

  • Tracia

    I’m very touched by this post. It depicts the stage in life that i am right now. I’ve been hurt so badly by my last relationship that i never felt i could be in love again but i am now. the funny thing is, the love i have for my boyfriend of 2 years now let me realize that what i felt before didn’t even come close.

  • Alyssa

    My ex boyfriend copied and pasted that to me when we were dating and I thought it came straight from the heart. I’m still touched, though. Beautiful.

  • Alyssa

    My ex boyfriend copied and pasted that to me when we were dating and I thought it came straight from the heart. I’m still touched, though. Beautiful.

  • Heather

    I’ve been in a broken heart hell for a few years now – I’m 36, no sophomore and no stranger to the pain that seems to always follow the high of falling in love. I feel I’ve lost my ability to fall in love, and with it I’ve lost my life force and hope. I keep wishing to feel any glimmer of lust, affection, or attraction to a man. It isn’t happening anymore. I hope I get to that promised land of finding true love someday so I don’t have to endure this anymore.

  • Heather

    I’ve been in a broken heart hell for a few years now – I’m 36, no sophomore and no stranger to the pain that seems to always follow the high of falling in love. I feel I’ve lost my ability to fall in love, and with it I’ve lost my life force and hope. I keep wishing to feel any glimmer of lust, affection, or attraction to a man. It isn’t happening anymore. I hope I get to that promised land of finding true love someday so I don’t have to endure this anymore.