Bad Date Bingo

I almost forgot about a funny post I came across recently on Shmitten Kitten that featured a Bingo card all about bad dates until I was out with friends recently. We were sharing some of our best bad date stories, and my friend E had me almost spew coffee across the table (which unfortunately would have landed on her… would that make ME a bad date?). Here’s what happened:

She went out with a guy and she mentioned she should have known it wouldn’t be good when he kept ignoring her explain why she didn’t want to go eat at a certain restaurant. They end up at said restaurant, and he pulls out The Question. You know, when someone has a question they’ve been thinking about asking and probably even practiced – which also means that they have their own answer thought up ahead of time too. I’m not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing; a lot of these questions are great ways to tell a lot about a person in just a sentence or two. So he asks her, “If you could have any super power, what would you choose?”

She thinks about it, and says that she would have the ability to move objects with her mind – think about how easy it would be to rearrange your apartment, for example (she is a really logical type of girl, so having the ability to see through people’s clothes has less of an everyday appeal for her).

He apparently assumes that she would use this power constantly and not ever lift a finger again, because he blurts out “Think of how fat you’d get!” She drops her fork and then continues with rearranging her food on her plate (as it wasn’t very good), and asks him what super power he’d go for. He’d pick the ability to invade people’s thoughts and manipulate them. I wish I could say “Date over!” but they were in one car. On the plus side, she now has a really good story and never had to see the guy again.

While not nearly as funny, I had a classmate ask me out when I was an undergraduate. Since it was a dinner-and-a-movie type date and we were broke college students, I kind of figured jeans or pants would work. I might have worn a sweater, as it was cold out. Anyway, he shows up at my place in a suit. With tie. My date assured me that I looked fine and shouldn’t change, and we headed to dinner. Instead of a casual joint, we headed to a cute (and really good) trendy restaurant, where he told me he had the same watch as Bill Clinton. Then, as the car ran out of gas on the highway (how do you not keep track of that?), he explained how he once rear ended a van full of handicapped people on their way to see a faith healer and then why he was upset because they tried to sue him. There was no movie, and I’m pretty sure I managed to squeak out “g’night!” before dashing quickly into my house without so much as a handshake.

What’s your worst date story? Have you ever had a bad date turn into a good relationship?

About Holly Moyseenko

Holly Moyseenko is a sex educator living in Ohio. She is an advocate of positive and healthy sexuality. Holly currently works for a non-profit health organization as a health educator, and also teaches workshops that focus on many topics within the realm of healthy sexuality. In her spare time, she also is an advocate for survivors of sexual assault, gardens, reads anything within reach, drinks copious amounts of tea, and naps with her two dogs.