Let’s face it: most people need at least some sex and some money. And often women and men try to get the most, as they say, bang from their buck by finding good deals on sex toys or making their own. One of the most time-tested Do-It-Yourself (DIY) sex toys is a dildo made of produce. After all, there’s no need to walk into an adult bookstore you may be uncomfortable being in. Also, produce dildos are cheap!
That said, like store-bought dildos, not all DIY produce dildos are created equal. Bananas, for example, often have pointed ends and, being squishy, could potentially spill into a woman’s vagina if she used it for sex play without first covering it with a condom. True, that may make oral sex easier for your partner but what if you don’t have one, or don’t have one around? Or maybe he’s not hungry? Or doesn’t like banana? Exactly.
To take the guesswork out of your DIY dildo sex play, consider these options the next time you’re picking up some groceries:
1. Cucumbers have rounded ends and tend to be available in a variety of sizes. If your grocery store only stocks ginormous cukes, check out a local farmer’s market for smaller sizes.
2. Zucchini and yellow squash may be rough on one or both ends, so cut the ends off and smooth them out as needed. Many shops sell small to medium sized zucchini and yellow squash, thus meeting the needs of a variety of women and their vaginas.
3. Eggplant (aubergines). Before you go all “whoa there” on me, shop around. Not all eggplants are the size of hamhocks. Again, many farmer’s markets and grocery stores that stock local or organic produce will also carry eggplants that are closer to the 5-7 inch long range and similar in thickness to an average sized penis.
If you’re using produce for sex play, always slip a condom over your produce before inserting it into your own or your partner’s vagina or anus. Also, store it at room temperature (such as on the counter or in the pantry) rather than the refrigerator unless you happen to like chilly sensations down there. And don’t be afraid to experiment â€“ some women and men enjoy carving different designs or ridges into the produce to give an extra sensitive “ribbed” or “studded” feel to their sex play.
Finally â€“ and I hope this goes without saying â€“ try to not double dip your produce. In other words, produce that you purchase for sex play should be for sex play only. It’s better not to eat cucumbers or squash that you’ve recently had in your vagina â€“ and certainly don’t eat any that you’ve had in your own or your partner’s anus, given the risks associated with bacteria from fecal matter. But you knew that already, right? Good â€“ thought so.