Trying new things in your relationship or sex life

This past holiday season, I was with a group at the Mayflower Hotel bar in DC – yes, the same Mayflower Hotel that Eliot Spitzer allegedly met "Kristen" at. A man who was festively singing Christmas music asked me to join in several times. I said that I would join in only if they played Jingle Bell Rock. Well, soon enough the fantastic piano player (bottom left) did just that, which got me out of my seat and joining in song and dance by the piano with the nameless festive man (pictured with me). 

This week, in your relationships, consider trying something a little new or slightly outside your comfort zone. Whether that’s a new way of communicating or a new-to-you type of stimulation (or position) is up to you. You never know – you just might have a blast. I did!

And remember: new things don’t have to be drastic. The slightest variations can make all of the difference. Instead of sitting on separate sofas while you watch television tonight, sit on the same sofa and rub your partner’s feet. Rather than sit home alone, call a friend and chat on the phone. If you’re into missionary (as are most people in the world, it seems) try slight variations by tiliting your hips upward or downward (if you’re on the bottom) or angling your body at 45 degrees or coming in close for kisses and whispered words (if you’re on top).

So many options, so little time…

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at