How to Bloom into Better Sex

If you’ve not yet seen Spring Awakening, it’s the name of a heartbreaking, well-choreographed musical. It’s also a phrase for a time for re-awakening and rejuvenating your sex life, and an energy you can harness in any season at all.

This starts, by the way, well outside of the bedroom – something I wrote about at length in a few chapters of Because It Feels Good because I believe in the importance of sensuality to sex. For example, why not:

-        Go to a fresh market, the produce section of your local grocery store or, if you’re travelling somewhere warmer for Spring Break, an outdoor Farmer’s Market. Notice the vibrant colors of the product. Touch the freshly misted strawberries. Run your fingers over a dimpled orange, a smooth cucumber or the natural ridges of a star fruit.

-        At home, turn your shower into a spa experience. I’m a fan of using a gentle scrub like Never a Dull Moment by Origins on my face when I need a little emotional lift. The scent, the texture: it’s perfect. I also like certain Aveda and Origins shampoos that perk up my senses like little else can. Find what works for you and notice the way that that shower feels on your skin and any scented products feel to your nose.

-        Walk by a flower market or florist and check out what spring nearly has to offer in our own gardens, too. I keep checking to see whether my bulbs are ready to come up (not quite yet!) but the ones at the stores are beautifully bright colors and feel lovely in my hand.

-        Get a massage! Whether it’s from a professional at a spa, a back massage from a best friend or an all-out naked candle-lit spectacle at home with a partner, enjoy. Breathe in, relax, and rest.

All of these daily moments should help you to focus on sensuality – how it feels to look at something beautiful, to taste something delicious, to hear words that you will long cherish or to touch something you never want to put down. Take these lessons and apply them to the sensuality of your sex life, whether that is experienced alone or with a partner. Look at your own body through the eyes of a real or imagined lover. Admire your body in the mirror or through your own type of touch. Kiss your partner longer and slower than you have in a while and take in the scent of their hair and their skin. If you try any of these, you will be well on your way to a spring awakening.

Debby Herbenick, PhD is a sex researcher and educator, a widely read sex columnist and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Follow her on Twitter @mysexprofessor.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at