One of the nice things about anonymous Q&A columns is that they are anonymous. Women and men who have questions about their sex life send me emails to various email accounts, or else they write me letters. A few have even called (really, though, no need to Google my office # – I rarely pick up). Apparently the fact that such columns are anonymous has made, at least in one instance, an easy and unfair target out of one woman:

Case in point:

Some time ago I received a letter for my weekly Time Out Chicago column from a woman who was upset about a blog post written by her then-boyfriend. Given how common this issue is nowadays (thanks to MySpace blogs, Facebook "notes", and Blogger and WordPress blogs), I thought it made sense to print and respond to the letter (you can read the column here). Then yesterday, as I was preparing to leave Puerto Rico (sad!!!), I see a comment from reader Ed (and a few emails from others) letting me know that Gawker implied the letter was from a contributing writer for Time Out New York, a woman by the name of Julia Allison. In the Gawker comments, she says that she did not write the letter. 

Frankly, it doesn’t matter to me who wrote the letter and I hope it doesn’t matter to you: even if the details of the letter-writer’s life and this woman’s life are similar, it does not mean that she wrote it. Blogs, orgasm issues, relationship problems, mis-communication and break-ups are all common – even in combination.  

Case closed. Let’s move on.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.