There’s this popular myth that anal sex is painful for the receiver. Don’t get me wrong; it can be very painful … if you’re doing it wrong. Anal sex that is pleasurable for both giver and receiver is something that can take a lot of patience, especially for beginners. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t know how to go about warming up for anal sex and they take the quick and easy way out by using an anal lubricant or spray with numbing ingredients like Benzocaine or Lidocaine.
The problem with products like these is that pain is the body’s way of telling you something is wrong. If you can’t feel the pain being caused you don’t know when to stop and serious injury could result. The rectum is a delicate place with tissue that tears easily.
And if your ass is numb then how exactly are you supposed to enjoy the pleasure of anal sex? After all, sex is supposed to be pleasurable for all involved, not just the person penetrating.
Instead of mimicking porn and rushing into the main event, relax, breathe, take your time, and use a lot of lube. The porn stars do this too, they just don’t show you that part. Start by taking a shower alone or together to insure that the area is clean and you’re able to relax more easily. Warm up with fingers, a small dildo, or a butt plug and be generous with the lube. One thing to keep in mind is that the sphincter muscles can feel worn out from a lot of in and out so a butt plug that stays in place may be a better option to get the relaxation and stretch you desire without feeling like you’re done before you even get to the main event.
It may not even happen the first few times you try anal play especially if the receiver has had previous bad experiences with anal sex. Just remember this is supposed to be fun and enjoyable for both parties.
If you do really feel like you need something to help get past a previous painful experience you can try lubes and sprays that are supposed to help relax the muscles instead of numbing them. Intimate Organics Anal Spray and Pjur Analyse Me both offer such benefits. Learn more about safe, pleasurable anal sex by reading Anal Pleasure & Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, or The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men.