Sex that lasts a long time (as in, all afternoon?)


Last week, I wrote about four types of sex that everyone might want to consider giving a try, beginning with a few tips about having Passionate Crazy Sex.  This week my focus is on Lazy Day in Bed Sex.

Although lazy days in bed are perhaps easier to come by when you’re in college or grad school (after all, you’re not going to get fired or lose a pay check if you’re late to class or skip one altogether in favor of a romp in the sack), even adults with jobs and/or kids can spare an occasional day to relish in bed. It’s called a “Personal Day.”

Why do I rank this type of sex so high? Because intimacy is important – and although setting aside 15 or 30 minutes for sex makes sense most of the year, every now and then we can all benefit from a reminder than while sex isn’t everything, it is indeed something special to many of us. And sometimes closeness and intimacy are most delicious when they’re savored, kind of like how wine tastes very different when you use it as a shot of courage versus roll it around on your tongue in search of its nuanced flavors.

Devoting a full afternoon or an entire day to sex takes more work as you grow up and have responsibilities to work or a family. You may have to call in sick from work, leave the kids on an overnight visit with your parents, hide each other’s cell phones in undisclosed locations, or tell everyone you know that you’ve gone away for the weekend even though you’re holed up at home. That’s okay – try it.

Then – depending on your style – try one of these:

Netflix your favorite movies or save up your DVR’d shows and decide you’re going to stay home, watch them as you please and have sex whenever you feel like.

Sleep in, wake up when you please, then wake your partner up with kisses, touches or oral sex. When it’s over, rather than get up and get on with your day, stay in bed and talk and hang out, then, if you feel like, make out some more or go for Round 2.

Call it a night a few hours early. Bring a bottle of wine and two glasses into bed with you. Talk, kiss, hang out, sip wine, laugh, loosen those inhibitions and just stay naked for as long as you possibly can.

Take a bath.  “Lazy day in bed sex” is just a name – it’s not meant to dictate the actual location of your rendezvous. You might start in bed, then end up in the bath…. That is, before getting tired and making your way to the couch to watch your favorite show and make out feverishly during commercial breaks.

However you make your Lazy Day in Bed Sex happen is up to you: the point is to take your time doing it, to lose any sense of sex having to start now or end then, and to go with the flow.

Check back next week for more tips on sex that you might want to try.

This article was originally published in my weekly Cheeky Chicago sex column. Follow me on Twitter - I am @mysexprofessor

[Image via Phoney Nickle, thanks to Flickr Creative Commons.]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at