Oral Sex Tip #3: What’s the best way to perform oral sex?

Tip #3 for Yummifying Oral Sex: Make it your own.

In the past two posts about making oral sex more fun and enjoyable, we’ve focused on the power of the mind and the tastebuds. This week, it’s all about self-confidence and decision making. When it comes to oral sex, one of the key ways to make it more pleasurable is to engage in oral sex that feels right to you. In other words, do it the way that YOU want to do it – not how you’ve heard that your best friend or a magazine writer does it.

Many people want to learn the best way to perform oral sex or particularly cool oral sex techniques. Unfortunately, however, some people hold stereotypical views on oral sex and these misperceptions can get in the way of pleasurable oral sex. For example, they may have heard that, in terms of how to perform fellatio, they are supposed to put their lips entirely over their teeth, suck the entire time or steer clear of it altogether if they are wearing a retainer. In thinking about how to perform cunnilingus, some people have heard that they should focus entirely on the clitoris, insert a finger into a woman’s vagina at the same time as licking, or lick very quickly.

However, not only will no one technique work for all receivers; it is also true that no one technique will be pleasurable for all givers to engage in. Some people experience jaw pain and may find that it’s more comfortable for them to lick rather than suck on a partner’s genitals or that there are time constraints to how long they can go for. Others find that their tongue may get tired, or they may get bored or that they feel like a porn star (and not in a good way) when they do a certain move.

So make oral sex all your own! Explore different ways of performing oral sex in terms of time, technique, angle and rhythm. Pay close attention to your partner’s response and see how she or he reacts to different types of stimulation – and make sure to ask him or her what they like and what they don’t, and share your own ideas of comfort and pleasure as a giver. Remember: sex is about mutual pleasure and a major part of yummifying oral sex (or any other type of sex) is figuring out your particular groove as a couple. To learn more about oral sex techniques, sex toys and sex play, check out my fun new book Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction (pre-order your copy on Amazon).

Check back next week for Tip #4.

Related MSP Posts:
- How to Finger a Woman: Safe, Pleasurable Techniques
- How to Have Sex in the Shower (Comfortably): Five Tips
- How to Make Oral Sex Better (Tip #1) : Decide That You Like It
- Oral Sex Techniques and Games for Couples: Flavored Body Sugar
- MSP Q&A: Trimming Pubic Hair

[Originally published in my weekly sex column at CheekyChicago.com]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.