Must#4 for Great Sex: Go to bed early.

photo-of-couple-kissing-by-spoospa

Regular MSP readers have likely read by Must#1 for Great Sex as well as Must#2 and Must#3. Now on to Must#4: Go to bed early.

Please, by all means, go to bed when you’re still ready to rock! At least if you want to have sex, that is. Too often, we get into routines in which we head to bed only when we are dripping with exhaustion. Yawning doesn’t exactly set the stage for romance, and it certainly doesn’t help with quality sex. After all, even if you feel like having sex, you’re probably only up for a quickie with little chance of orgasm (at least for women) and not much of a focus on variety, let alone energy-intensive positions. (And let me tell you, there are great positions to be had – check back next week for details).

So what to do? Try one of the following:

Get straight to the point. Have a talk with your partner and let him/her know that you’d like to start going to bed a little earlier so you can save time for sex. 
 
Be a tease. An hour before you would normally go to sleep, announce that you’re off to bed. When your partner protests that it’s only 9 o’clock, say “I said ‘bed’ – not ‘sleep’. Wanna come?” Or take your clothes off and leave them in a trail as you make your way to the bedroom.

Go to bed – and yes, even to sleep – earlier than usual. Get your zzzzs! You’ll be better rested for sex the next morning, if that’s your thing.

Granted, if you’re in a brand new spankin’ relationship, you may not need these tips as relationship newbies are often in that clothes-tearing-off stage. But couples in long term relationships – especially those who are overworked or overcommitted, getting a new business off the ground, swinging overtime hours, cramming for exams, or chasing little kids around the house – often need to dedicate time and space for sex. Besides, it’s fun!

Check back next week to learn what to do when you actually make space for sex – specifically, how to make regular old sex positions WAY better.

[Originally published in my weekly column on CheekyChicago.com]

[Photo by spoospa, via their Flickr photostream.]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • JH

    One caveat….if you go to bed early after watching LOST you are still out of luck.

  • JH

    One caveat….if you go to bed early after watching LOST you are still out of luck.

  • Debby

    Yes, some scary shows make post-show sex difficult. In that case, the tip becomes Have Sex Prior to Scary Show.

  • Debby

    Yes, some scary shows make post-show sex difficult. In that case, the tip becomes Have Sex Prior to Scary Show.