MSP Sex Q&A: Why is her clitoris so sensitive after orgasm?

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Question: After my girlfriend comes, she gets super sensitive. It’s like I can’t even go near her clitoris without her batting me away. In light of her sensitivity, how can I get her to have two orgasms in a row? Is this normal?

Answer: Yes, it is totally normal and within the range of typical experiences for a woman to feel sensitive to touch right after orgasm. This is particularly true for the clitoral area, which is packed with nerve endings, and can feel very sensitive shortly after climax. (Some men feel sensitive on or around the head of their penis following orgasm too). So, what to do? (read more after the jump)

First, try not to become very goal-oriented about getting your girlfriend to have multiple orgasms. Sure, they can be fun, but they aren’t necessary (heck, many women would love to have even one orgasm) and a goal-oriented approach – on either of your parts – can actually make subsequent orgasms that much harder to reach.

Instead, try focusing on pleasure. Your girlfriend’s body might need or benefit from a little break after orgasm so that she can comfortably receive touch again. Though she might feel as though her arousal could decline after a 30 second or minute long break, in fact physical arousal takes several minutes to dissipate, and she should be able to quickly gain back any arousal ground she feels she’s lost. Focusing on what feels good for you and your partner – kissing, touching, moving your two bodies together – is exactly the way to get back on the path to an orgasm (or several).

Finally, keep the importance of communication in mind . Is a second orgasm even of interest to your girlfriend? Perhaps she pushes you away as a sign that she’s enjoyed sex and is ready to be done, and not in need (or want) of a second orgasm. Try talking to each other to find out how you each feel about your sex lives, her orgasm and these sensitivity issues so that you can both understand more about what’s most important to your mutual pleasure.

If you have a sex or relationship question, send it to me! Your confidentiality will be respected. Learn more about orgasm (and multiple orgasm) by searching the archives of MSP.

[Above image from this web site.]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • JW

    I can totally attest to the male version of this. My wife uses it to drive me insane after oral sex to the point where I have to curl up in a fetal position and beg her to stop. I just can’t take it.

  • JW

    I can totally attest to the male version of this. My wife uses it to drive me insane after oral sex to the point where I have to curl up in a fetal position and beg her to stop. I just can’t take it.

  • Debby

    So happy you were able to crawl out of the fetal position to join us on MSP!

  • Debby

    So happy you were able to crawl out of the fetal position to join us on MSP!

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