How to use vibrators to boost desire and make it easier to orgasm

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As vibrators and other sex toys have become more commonplace in drug stores, retail stores, web sites and sex shops, I’ve received numerous questions from women and men about how to use vibrators. And it’s a great question! After all, there are dozens of ways that women and men can use vibrators to have better, more pleasurable and more easily orgasmic sex. Here are 5 ways that vibrators can be used for sexual enhancement:

1. Start low and slow. Although many women prefer high intensity vibration in order to orgasm, some find that beginning with a low intensity for several minutes – and possibly using slow motions with the vibrator as it moves across a woman’s clitoral area or her vaginal lips – can build excitement and result in a stronger, more satisfying orgasm.

2. Back off. Just as starting slow can be exciting, so can backing off during mid-sex play. Let’s say you’re going strong with your vibrator use, whether alone or with a partner, and feeling aroused. Why not drop the intensity down a notch and enjoy the change in sensations? It’s similar to how changing the intensity during intercourse with a partner can add a whole new dynamnic to one’s sex play.

3. Slip something between you and your sex toy. And by “something”, I mean a towel or a sheet, silky underwear, or some water-based or silicone-based lubricant (however, if you are using a silicone toy, make sure to only use water-based lubricant with your toy as silicone-based lubricant is incompatible with silicone toys). This can also change the sensation and contribute to more pleasurable sex play.

4. Make it a boy toy. Men often like vibrators too – whether they know it or not. Though fewer men (compared to women) use vibrators alone, you might be surprised how many men enjoy the feel of vibration against their penis. If you are certain that neither you nor partner has a sexually transmissible infection (STI) that could be passed between you via your toys, you may be able to safely share your toy by gently running the vibrator along his penile shaft or his scrotum. Or try a couple’s toy that is meant specifically to be used by two people during intercourse or other sex play. You can also use a condom to cover the vibrator before you share it with a partner if you are concerned about hygiene issues (though, really, if you’re willing to touch your naked bodies – fluids and all – together during intercourse, then sharing a vibrator isn’t much of a leap, is it?)

5. Hold it between you. Vibrators aren’t just for masturbation – and you don’t necessarily need a specific “couples vibrator” in order to use it for couples play. Even basic vibrators such as the silver bullet or finger-held vibrators can be using during intercourse. Some couples hold a vibrator to a woman’s clitoris during sex positions in order to make it easier for her to orgasm whether that’s to have one orgasm or multiple orgasms. Others use a vibrator to build desire for sex and sexual excitement during the first stages of intercourse, then they put the vibrator to the side and continue on their own.

Remember, one of the cool things about sex is that you get to make it all your own! You can use vibrators in whatever ways feel comfortable, pleasurable or orgasmic for you and/or a partner. Have fun exploring!

Related MSP Posts:
- What can I do to get my libido back? Should I fake it?
- How to have more pleasurable oral sex
- Foreplay tips to arouse her

Follow me on Twitter – I am @mysexprofessor

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.