How to Have Sex: Instructions For…

“How to Fuck” by Mellissa McEwan may be the best instructions I’ve ever read for having sex. Generic, sure, but that’s part of what’s so amazing about them. This set of instructions leaves pleasure up to whoever is involved and assumes that you want to protect yourselves. There are no assumptions of what normal is and nor do I think the author even cares. Sex is fun and should be had for fun. And consent is a necessity. Her instructions begin with:

1. Find a consenting partner (or partners).

2. Get your partner/s’ explicit consent. Give your explicit consent. Compliance is not the same as consent. Your partner/s should be as excited and ready as you are. Don’t try to talk anyone else, or yourself, into fucking.

Read the rest of the 5 steps on Shakesville.

Follow us on twitter @mysexprofessor. You can also follow Garnet Joyce, the author of this post, @GarnetJoyce.

About Garnet Joyce

Garnet Joyce

Queer sex educator starting a new adventure with her wife and two cats.

  • Michaela

    This is so fantastic! I love the advocacy for consent, and the fact that it doesn’t define what sex “should” be. I’m going to share this with my sexual health education group!

  • Debby Herbenick

    I certainly appreciate this one, too. It leaves so many possibilities for people’s own exploration.