As summer heats up, so do many people’s sex lives â€“ and their sense of adventure. Road trips are a hallmark of summer fun and romance. And let’s face it: singing loudly along with your favorite playlist and snacking on junk food isn’t the only thing happening inside cars on road trips. Road sex is a much-loved rite of passage.
If you haven’t yet had road sex but are hoping to with what’s left of this summer – or if you’re planning to try road sex again after an awkward past experience – here are 5 tips that will shift your road sex life into drive:
1. Safety first. Try not to go for road sex on any of America’s most dangerous roads. You should also stay in your own seat if you are driving through heavy rain or a hailstorm or if you’re careening through cliffs, canyons or other difficult-to-navigate roads. If you wouldn’t text or talk on your cell phone during whatever conditions you’re facing, don’t unzip his or her or your pants either. Trust me, you can wait. When you do find decent conditions, pull far enough over onto the shoulder of the road or into a private part of a parking lot. Which brings us toâ€¦
2. Keep things private. For the love of all things sacred, do not â€“ I repeat, do not â€“ get even remotely naked in an area where children might accidentally see what you are up to. Don’t have sex near schools, bus stops or family’s homes. We’re talking sex off the side of a highway â€“ okay? Not by the Gymboree. Also, try not to do that much in traffic. A little handie might be okay, especially if you think no one can see you, but your head should not be bobbing up and down during stop-and-go traffic nor should you be straddling the driver in plain view.
3. Have realistic expectations. Road sex tends to be hot because it’s taboo â€“ and let’s face it, possibly illegal in many places â€“ not because it’s so damn easy to have orgasmic sex (at least for many women). Accept road sex for what it is and it can be amazingly fun. Assume it’s going to be the best sex of your life and you may be disappointed. Do expect to have a limited range of positions: yes to blow jobs, hand jobs, woman on top and seated sex positions. Maybe to doggie style or missionary in the backseat if you can find a crazily-private spot. Unlikely to cunnilingus (except for very flexible, determined couples) and standing sex positions, unless you’re brazen. Or incredibly short.
4. Comfort is king. Again, road sex is not all that easy. If you’re straddling your partner, you may find that your knees knock against the seat belt lock or the gear shaft, your head hits the ceiling or your back hits against the steering wheel. Your partner may find it difficult to sit â€“ or to come â€“ based on his or her position and it may be more fun than orgasmic. Then again, you may hit all the right spots and literally steam up the windows (it’s been known to happen under the right circumstances). Shift all the seat parts back as far as you can and use towels or yur clothes for cushions, as needed.
5. Keep clean. If there’s even the slightest chance that you may have road sex this summer, make sure to stock up on napkins in the glove compartment or keep a spare towel in your car (no one will be suspicious if you generally need a towel for other reasons such as lake swims or to keep your dog from getting paw prints in your car). If you don’t use condoms, the napkins or towels can clean up each other’s body fluids. Sitting on a towel can keep each of your fluids from staining the car seats. And if you will be using napkins or condoms, keeping a plastic bag in the car will make it more convenient to store your sex trash until you get to the next exit. I’m not sure if that’s where the term “trashy” stems from, but it’s possible.
Remember: road sex can be fun sex if you know what you’re doing. And with these 5 tips, you are well on your way to the sultriest of summers. Mind the seatbelt bruises, though.
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The above image is a screen shot I took from the Where the Wild Things Are trailer.