How to have passionate, crazy sex (regardless of Granny Panties!)

 

diane-lane-sex-scene-from-unfaithful

It’s been said that there are certain types of men or women that everyone should date at least once in their lives. As someone who studies sex, I believe there are at least four types of sex that women and men who are interested in sex (which is most of us) should consider experiencing – even if just once. The first?

Passionate Crazy Sex

This may be the most obvious, but it can also be one of the most fun. After all, by definition this type of sex is exhuberantly passionate. It’s the kind of sex that can hardly be contained. While perhaps more frequent among high chemistry totally-wrong-for-each-other couples, passionate crazy sex can happen even in the most tender, companionate relationships, too. All it takes is a willing and accepting partner, a loosening of inhibitions and a willingness to let your animalistic side run a bit wild.

The reason passionate crazy sex gets my vote as a “must try” is that it’s a type of sex that is, at its core, enormously about lust, bodies, and exploring each other’s sexuality in ways that no one else gets to see. It’s hot, erotic and, simultaneously, utterly personal.

If you’re no stranger to passionate crazy sex, then you hardly need me to tell you how to do it. But if you’ve never had it, if it’s been a while, or if you’d like to add a few new angles to your particular flavor of passionate crazy sex, try any of the following:

- Add spontaneity to your sex life. So you normally have sex at night after your favorite shows are over? DVR the shows and go down on your partner in the living room.

- Plan ahead. Spontaneity isn’t everything. For some people (list-makers, you know who you are), knowing what’s coming up ahead can act as an aphrodisiac. Prepare by having a sexy ensemble underneath your normal clothes, then after dinner or dessert, lead your partner to the bedroom as you slowly strip away your clothes in a line toward the bed… or kitchen floor, as the case may be.

- Start your engines. Sometimes the easiest way to ignite passionate crazy sex is to just go for it already, even in the midst of routine sex. Let’s say that you’re wearing your granny panties (ladies; or for you men, your tighty whities) and so far everything is happening in the regular order (e.g., kiss for a few, get a condom from the drawer, roll back the covers) – that doesn’t mean it can’t get enormously hot with little warning. Start kissing with abandon and see how he or she kisses back. Use long, slow, wet licks or strokes to build into a feverish, frisky pace. Whisper the dirtiest words or fantasies that are likely to heat the both of you up.

Everyone’s path to passionate crazy sex is different, but we all have the potential to get there. Have fun exploring!

This article was originally posted in my weekly column on CheekyChicago.com

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[Image above from the movie Unfaithful, starring Diane Lane, Oliver Martinez and Richard Gere, and which featured quite a few passionate crazy sex scenes, in case you're in need of inspiration.]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • joe

    when my wife and I were younger we had several three somes with a woman. We are older now and would like this again. How do we make contact with a partner.

  • joe

    when my wife and I were younger we had several three somes with a woman. We are older now and would like this again. How do we make contact with a partner.

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