How can you learn to perform oral sex on a guy without gagging?

Question: How can you learn to perform oral sex on a guy without gagging?

Answer: While not all women and men who perform oral sex on men get to The Point of No Gagging, many people find that there is some room for improvement. Fellatio (oral sex performed on a man) can often become less gag-inducing over time. How so?

Well, some people simply find that – as with many things – fellatio becomes easier with practice. Kind of like how, over time, people often learn not to gag when swallowing cough medicine or large capsules of medicine.

Others find that gently and carefully sticking their finger toward the back of their throat, over time, can help to re-condition their gag reflex. At first, it actually promotes the gag reflex but over time it can (for some people) help to reduce its trigger.

Still, some people find that fellatio is more pleasurable when they don’t take as much of their partner’s penis into their mouth or when they instead spend more time licking the shaft or head, blowing warm area on the penile or its head, kissing it, licking the scrotum, etc. rather than sucking on the penis. This can also help to avoid the gag reflex.

Still, some decide that fellatio is just not something that they like to do and they either don’t do it at all or they negotiate with a partner what they will or won’t do or for how long, in what instances, how often, and such. Remember that oral sex is not a necessary part of sex and, if done, it doesn’t have to be done in any specific way. You and your partner get to decide what works for you – which is part of the beauty of coupled sexual experiences.

To learn more about fellatio techniques, check out my fun new book Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction (pre-order it on Amazon) or The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure by Violet Blue.

If you have a question about sex or relationships, send it to me! Your confidentiality will be respected.

Related MSP Posts:

- How to Finger a Woman: Safe, Pleasurable Techniques (Click HERE to read)
- How to Have Sex in the Shower (Comfortably): Five Tips (Click HERE to read)
- How to Make Oral Sex Better (Tip #1) : Decide That You Like It (Click HERE to read)
- Oral Sex Techniques and Games for Couples: Flavored Body Sugar (Click HERE to read)
- MSP Q&A: Trimming Pubic Hair (Click HERE to read)

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at