Cunnilingus vs. Fellatio

A friend of mine was posting on Facebook about how blow jobs are dead, after he read an article from Esquire. Now, that’s not quite what the article says. The article is indeed called “The Observation: The Demise of the Blow Job” (but comes up in my browser as “Death of the Blow Job”), but it’s less about the death of fellatio and more about the rise of cunnilingus. To be fair, the author does mention that the 8 out of 10 men who prefer cunnilingus to fellatio are their “mature male friends”, and the 2 who prefer fellatio are gay. I’m not sure if it’s true that cunnilingus has fallen into favor, or if maybe people are more comfortable talking about it and it’s just getting more attention.

When I went to go see Louis Malle’s “The Lovers”, I learned of its ties to where I live (Cleveland, Ohio). The film was thought to be obscene, although a Supreme Court ruling overturned that decision (and that’s when a Supreme Court Justice ruled that “I know it when I see it [and this movie is not obscene]“). Without giving too many spoilers about the film, two biggest issues that there seem to be about it are that a woman receives oral sex and that an affair occurs without thought given to the character’s child. I saw this movie at a film festival in 2009, and there were several warnings about the adult content. Headed in, I was sure that this was going to be something that today would be deemed pornographic. I think I’ve seen raunchier film scenes in today’s mainstream cinema (although that said, I thought the film was very well done and I was able to sit beside people who had been at the screening that the police stormed in on in the 1960s).

I’ve definitely seen more references to and sex scenes including fellatio than cunnilingus. A friend once told me that there is a lack of references to cunnilingus in American culture because we, as a culture, are less okay with a woman’s body. There may be something to that. However, I think a lot of this may also be related to living in a culture with a very heterosexual bias. I’m not sure what I’d choose if you asked me if I preferred cunnilingus or fellatio. Do I have to pick sweet or salty? Maybe I like the option of having cheese and chocolate both in my house if I want (and I’m obviously bringing some bias to the table). I also don’t think that heterosexual males are just done with blow jobs (informal survey of a few of my heterosexual and bisexual male friends came back extremely mixed – one of my good friends worded it best when he told me that his choice has a lot to do with his mood).

So do you think cunnilingus is the new black?

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About Holly Moyseenko

Holly Moyseenko is a sex educator living in Ohio. She is an advocate of positive and healthy sexuality. Holly currently works for a non-profit health organization as a health educator, and also teaches workshops that focus on many topics within the realm of healthy sexuality. In her spare time, she also is an advocate for survivors of sexual assault, gardens, reads anything within reach, drinks copious amounts of tea, and naps with her two dogs.

  • I_Am_Me

    I don’t know about other guys, but most of the times that I have has sex, I am in heaven if both cunnilingus and fellatio occur.  I wonder if this is related to the fact that I have sexually dominant personality.  To me, sex is a form of worship of the other sex and the sex organs should be adored and worshipped in any way possible.

    However, when I have sexual fantasies or look at erotica, I get way more excited from the fellatio than the cunnilingus.  This is because in my fantasy world, I enjoy exploring the ‘she would do anything for me’ either because she wants me that much or she is forced to.