Cheese or Oral Sex?

About two years ago, one of my friend’s roommates asked me “Which would you rather give up forever, cheese or oral sex?” (It really wasn’t as unusual of a situation as you might think).

I thought that it was an interesting question then, and I have to say that I’m still really intrigued by it now. As a result of my sometimes insatiable curiosity I’ve started putting the question to many (though not all, I do occasionally have a sense of propriety) of the people I encounter. This single, fairly straightforward “would you rather” has spawned a good deal of discussion in many of my social circles including my immediate family.

The tricky part of the question is that, for most, the two things are enjoyable, but for vastly different reasons. The enjoyment one gets from eating cheese is of a very different type than the enjoyment one gets from engaging in oral sex. And of course, if you are a fan of cheese and oral sex, the idea of giving up either one forever is fairly distressing.

There have been some people who tried to negotiate restrictions on the question, so, before you ask, it is both giving and receiving oral sex, it is all cheeses, not just American ones, and cream cheese does in fact count as a cheese

Interestingly, a large majority of people that I have asked have said that they would rather give up oral sex forever than cheese. Though people give a wide variety of reasons for their decisions, the argument of the people who choose to give up oral sex pretty much boils down to “There are lots of ways I can have orgasms and only one way to have pizza/macaroni and cheese/tiramisu.”

It’s something to think about. Which would you choose and why?

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  • amy

    well, as someone who discovered later in life that she has an intolerance for dairy products… I must say it’s been a lot easier to give them up than I thought it would be, initially. I don’t think I could say the same for oral sex though. So I have to think that the people who would choose cheese over oral sex have just never had really good oral sex!

  • Jeana Jorgensen

    Minute by minute, I spend a lot more time enjoying cheese each day than I do enjoying oral sex. Maybe that means I’m doin’ it wrong, but my palate says otherwise… ;)

  • Garnet Joyce

    I do love giving oral sex, but receiving it usually just puts me to sleep (literally). But cheese is just so fantastic. I’m not sure I could give it up. I’m currently trying to give up wheat which is difficult enough, but wheat has decent alternatives. There is no good alternative to cheese. So I’d have to say I’d give up oral sex.

  • liz

    That’s because you are lactose intolerant–it is easy to give up something that makes you feel bad.