Recently I had the long-awaited joy of seeing Snoop Dogg in concert. It was there, actually, that I got the inspiration for this Celebrity Sexpert series in the first place, right when he was singing “Sensual Seduction,” the song that perhaps best spells out what we can learn about sex from Snoop:
- Take turns. As Snoop sings it (and, yes, he sings more than raps on this particular song), he seems to be a ladies first kind of man. But that doesn’t mean that women should always come first. Rather, think of orgasms and pleasure in relation to turn-taking and sharing. If a man comes quickly, that can still work for a couple as long as he’s able to get a second erection to continue with sex or, erection or not, if he’s ready and willing to kiss, stroke, or otherwise stimulate his partner to the brink of her pleasure and/or orgasm.
- Take your time. All too often, people rush through sex. Yes, sometimes that makes sense, such as at 2 am when one or both people have to get up early the next morning for work and you both want the good-night-sex-release rather than a marathon version of sex. But other times, sex needs to be savored! Try to slow down the strokes and really feel how each others’ bodies move in response to each other. Make love to each other and enjoy each touch, breath, kiss, and/or thrust. Plus, if you allow arousal to build, it can increase pleasure and make orgasm that much easier.
- Sex can be playful! When couples first get together, it’s often the case that they stay in bed for an eccentrically long time, barely getting out even to grab breakfast or meet friends for drinks. But as couples stay together longer, sometimes the playfulness gets drawn out of sex, which can lead people to long for the playful days. But why long when you can bring play into your sex life today? Whether you use sex toys, flavored body paints, or simply give yourself permission to laugh, let go, or get a little wild is up to you. Learn to love sex again, one playful laugh or touch or ridiculous sex outfit at a time.
What are your thoughts on Snoop Dogg in relation to sex? Is there anything you’ve found particularly funny, insightful or offensive about the way he portrays sex in his music, movies or public persona?
Debby Herbenick, PhD is a sex researcher and educator, a widely read sex columnist and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Follow her on Twitter @mysexprofessor.